Don't Make a Scene (Redux): A Hard Day's Night

The Story: In the press conference sequence of A Hard Day's Night, it is scripted that Ringo is asked: "Are you a "mod" or a "rocker?"  And his reply is "I'm more of a mocker.." Truer words...

That was part of the charm of The Beatles (in order of joining: John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison, Ringo Starr) they mocked everything. Oh, they took the music seriously, and their jobs. But, everything else was material for lampooning.  The questions from the Press, the Press itself, the fan's reactions, their hair, their life-styles, their "talent"—they made more fun of themselves (and each other) than anything. And, as a consequence, they became more fun to watch, too, apart from their songs.

A Hard Day's Night has them as themselves (to a point), in their London, in their circumstances, dealing with their notoriety and all the complications that entails, from logistics, to travel, to exploitation, to loneliness, to "cabin fever."  It examines the price of fame and the cost of living in a Beatle bubble.

But, contrarily, it's hysterical.  I was at the premiere when it opened in Seattle (thanks for getting the tickets, Dad, and for being amused, rather than alarmed, at Beatlemania), and it was a mob scene—you couldn't hear half the dialogue over the screams in the audience.* But, I always remembered this scene, and have memories of actually seeing it and being amazed by it. It zapped my head when I was 9 years old.

I loved comedy as a child, and always pestered adults with jokes to test "what was funny." But, this was different. This was absurd. Abstract. This was play. This was a discussion that centered around nothing, that kept building and building to the perfect punch-line (dubbed in later).

We assume the discussion centers around whether John Lennon resembles John of The Beatles, but it's never stated outright, and, in point of fact, it is never even mentioned, and avoided. Who Millie mistakes him for could be Winston Churchill, for all we know. That's the comedy aspect, like the drunk who asks the celebrity: "Do you know who you are?" ** They both know who they're talking about (or...do they?), and that absurd void is danced around, like Charlie Chaplin roller-skating around a man-hole, and comes to a conclusion without any resolution.  And that all stems from the mutual Beatles/Richard Lester/Beatles producer George Martin association with The Goons (Spike Milligan, Peter Sellers, Harry Secombe, et al.), the British comedy troupe much beloved for their embrace of the absurd and the bizarre, part and parcel of the strange jitterbug in A Hard Day's Night, that catalogs two Days in the Life of The Beatles.

The Set-Up:  The Beatles have just had a momentary burst of freedom, playing in a field before being summarily kicked off of it.  Now, they must return to the dungeon-like studio where they await another rehearsal, another show.  But, even there, The Beatles can't escape attention, and the weird price of Fame.

Action!

Ad-Libbed sections are in YELLOW

48A. INTERIOR CORRIDOR AS BOYS PASS THRU ON WAY TO DRESSING ROOM

JOHN is behind them. JOHN, BOYS and MILLIE are walking towards each other.

MILLIE (as all pass) Hello.

JOHN (stopping... the boys carry on past, not noticing her) Hello.

MILLIE Oh, wait a minute, don't tell me you're ...
JOHN No, not me.
MILLIE (insistently) Oh you are, I know you are.

JOHN No, I'm not.

MILLIE You are.

JOHN I'm not, no.
MILLIE Well, you look like him.

JOHN Oh do I?

JOHN You're the first one who ever said that.

MILLIE Oh you do, look.

JOHN looks at himself in the mirror.

JOHN examines himself in the mirror carefully.

JOHN My eyes are lighter.

EXTRA: Excuse me...
JOHN: All right, noddy...

MILLIE (agreeing) Oh yes.

JOHN And my nose...
MILLIE Well, yes your nose is. Very.

JOHN Is it? 

MILLIE I would have said so.
JOHN Aye, but you know him well.

MILLIE (indignantly) No I don't, he's only a casual acquaintance.

JOHN (knowingly) That's what you tell me.

MILLIE (suspiciously) What have you heard?

JOHN (blandly) It's all over the place, everyone knows.

MILLIE Is it? Is it really?

JOHN Mind you, I stood up for you, I mean I wouldn't have it.

MILLIE I knew I could rely on you.

JOHN (modestly) Thanks.
MILLIE touches his arm then walks away. After a moment she turns.

MILLIE You don't look like him at all.

JOHN walks away, indignantly

JOHN (to himself) She looks more like him than I do...

A Hard Day's Night

Words by Alun Owen

Pictures by Gilbert Taylor and Richard Lester

A Hard Day's Night is available on DVD from Criterion Home Video.

* Yes, the "youngsters" were screaming at the Beatles' image on the movie screen.  As George Harrison has pithily remarked, "We gave them an excuse to go insane."

** I've actually seen this happen in real life. All you can do is be amazed. Celebrity turns a lot of us to babbling goo.

Don't Make a Scene (Redux): Help!

Doing a repeat today...I chose one for no other reason than it has very few "hits" and it's rather funny. We need that these days. So, Ladies and Gentlemen,...The Beatles!

The Set-Up: It's easy to dismiss the second film featuring The Beatles, Help! The film has the smell of ganja all over it—the boys were heavy smokers at the time, and Richard Lester's biggest task was keeping them ON task. More often than not, the lads would giggle through takes, run off for a quick hit after (and even during) a shot, and were generally silly throughout. It's why there's a slight disconnected quality to Help! especially in shots where all four of them are together—they'd stumble over lines and each other. One scene in Buckingham Palace involving a card game took days of filming. All due to the wacky-weed.

But that disconnected quality gave Lester, who became "The Beatles director" due to his Beatle-admired work with "The Goon Show," to make the film even more dis-jointed (pun intended) with humorous cut-aways, larky superimposed titles and interruptions, some in context, some not.* This "anything goes for a larff" style would be appropriated and juggled over the years, especially by the Monty Python troop.

At the time of filming, John Lennon was going through a particularly tough stage, psychologically—he called it his "Fat Elvis" stage—he was overweight, disoriented by success, and while the other bachelor Beatles were larking about at the height of their fame, he was a married man with child. He was jealous and bitter and felt guilty feeling that way. And the Lennon-penned theme song and his Dylanesque "You've Got to Hide your Love Away" betray this dark side.

It was this movie and it's source music that sparked George Harrison's interest in the sitar and Indian music.

The Story: Several attempts have already been made on Ringo Starr's life (and thus, also, The other Beatles,' John Lennon, Paul McCartney and George Harrison) and so the four mop-tops go to the highest authorities. The drummer has been sent a garish red ruby ring from a fan, a potential sacrificial victim to the cult of Kaili. And as per the dictates of the sacrifice, whoever bears the ring has only 24 hours to live, at which point they will be painted red and slaughtered (jolly) with a knife.

That's right. Painted red.

Action!

Superintendent: Red?
Superintendent: Red?
Ringo: They have to paint me red before they chop me.
Ringo: It's a different religion from ours...I think.
Superintendent: So this is the famous ring, eh?
Ringo: I'm in fear of my life, you know.
Superintendent: So this is the famous Beatles.
John: So this is the famous Scotland Yard, eh?
Superintendent: So how long do you think YOU'll last?
John: Can't say fairer than that.
John: Great Train Robbery, eh? How's that goin'?
Paul: You don't believe us, do ya?
(The phone rings. Paul grabs a phone and hands it to the Superintendent. The Superintendent answers the other phone)
Superintendent: Chief Superintendent?
(Man on phone) Ringo, please.
Superintendent: It's for you, the famous Ringo.
John: Hold on! It's them.
John: There's only me and Paul...
John: ...know we're here.
George: I know we're here.
Superintendent: Allow me. I'm a bit of a famous mimic in my own small way, you know...
Superintendent: James Cagney....
Superintendent: (adapting a Liverpudlian accent) Hello, this is the famous Ringo here, gear fab...
Superintendent: What is it I can do for you, as it were, gear fab?
George: Not a bit like Cagney.
(Mystic music and Kang's hypnotic voice appear over the phone enticing the listener to do their bidding)
Kang: Go...to...the win-dow...
John: Hey, it is them!
(The Beatles cover their ears and the Superintendant, taken over, goes..to..the..window)
Kang: Go..
Kang: ..to the win-dow!
Kang: Go...to...the...win-dow.
Kang: Go...to...the...win-dow.
Kang: Go...to...the...win-dow.
Kang(over the phone): Go...to...the...win-dow.
(An arrow with a red paint-balloon flies through the window)
(It hits against the far wall)
(A second arrow follows and explodes the paint-balloon, causing George and Paul to run for safety)
(The Superintendent dives under his desk.)
Superintendent: There's a strong case for arming the police. We're not all masochists, you know.
Ringo: Now, you see!
Superintendent: Yes, I believe you. Thousands wouldn't.
Superintendent: Right! Let's get going. Show on the road. Battle commence. Pass me the phone, will you?
Superintendent: Life-line of the service.
Superintendent: Dial 999.
Ringo: We need protection. We've got a record to do tomorrow. I need protection.
Superintendent: And you shall have it.
Superintendent: Get me protection.
Help!

Words by Charles Wood and Marc Behm

Pictures by David Watkin and Richard Lester

Help! is available on DVD from Apple Home Video.


* My favorite is an interrupting title card "End of Part 1." Then, "Intermission," followed by a sped-up 10 second sequence of the boys larking in the woods (using Ringo as a yo-yo) accompanied only by sound effects of a chirping bird. Then, "End of Intermission." "Part Two" and a brief clip of the sacrificial victim in the bath having the red scrubbed off her while being admonished by her Mum for being "as bad as your Sister, coming home from work all hours and all colors." "End of Part Two." "Part Three, Later That Evening." Then, the story resumes. (Yeah, I know, but it's funny!)