Tuesday, April 1, 2025

Speculations in the Bond Market (Amazon Edition)

Now, that Amazon has bought off EON Productions (for a reported $1 billion dollars—sounds like something the criminal organization S.P.E.C.T.R.E. would do!) for complete creative control of the James Bond franchise, I've done some digging and uncovered the top eight leading contenders to play Agent 007 for the enduring franchise.
 
I've previously posted on the subject before, but, given that the previous hands involved in the franchise are now tied in gold knots, we can pretty much assume that Amazon will go in a different direction. They've already decided on a film budget of $250 million and a release date at the end of 2027. Now, they just have to come up with minor things like a script, actors, director, and possible locations (I hear a yacht may be available!).
 
And, of course, a direction for the series to go in. Which could be anything, frankly, as it could be contemporary, or a period-piece (within budget, of course), and they have to look at what might make a good villain in the geopolitical conditions we find ourselves in. It would behoove them to not insult any potential markets for the world-wide popular series, so they'll probably have to go with the villain being some corrupt industrialist or an oligarch with a seemingly endless store of greed. One wonders where they might find that. 

But, the big question is who will play James Bond? Considerations in the past have come down to availability, salary, commitment to a multi-picture contract, and, to a certain extent, whether they're a "team-player." But, that was in the past when EON Productions was in charge. Who knows what criteria will be considered with Amazon in charge?

Here are the top eight leading contenders to play the role:
 
Jason Sthatam
 
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson

Channing "No nickname" Tatum

Billy Zane

Vin Diesel
 
Mark Strong
 
John Travolta
 
Samuel L. Jackson

Sunday, March 30, 2025

Don't Make a Scene (Redux): 2001: A Space Odyssey

Re-running this in anticipation of April Fool's Day and even though "its origin and purpose still a total mystery."
 
Oh, don't worry. There'll be something on Tuesday, too. No fooling.
 
The Set-Up:  Hoot. Hoot-hoot-hoot-grunt. Scruff-hhrrn-arrr-rgl hrrrrrr-arrr-rra-aah-hoot; Hurrn ra-rah 2001: A Space Odyssey. Hurf-rah grrr hrrn ar-aarr grunt pfft, rawr urr-huff rah-ah ra-ruf oot oot gr-hurrn ahrf uh uh ur.

Raw urk uhh-hoof skrawra huhn-uhn. Uh uh uh. Raaawr.
Hoot.

The Scene:  Ta Hoot arr Rrahr. Rahr uht uht Moonwatcher (Daniel Richter) r-rr hoof raht-raht slur. Rawr hu-ur awrr-oorf rawr thud-thud hurraw-hurraw. Hurr-hurr. Urf.

Hoot!

APE 1  Hrawr-hrr-hrr.
APE 2  Hrrr-hrr-hrr.
APE 3  HUFF-huff-huff-huff!
MOONWATCHER  RAWWWWR!
MOONWATCHER  HAR-Ra-Hff-hff!
APE 4  Hoot-hoot.
APE 4  Hoot-hoot-hoot. 
APE 5  Oof!
 MOONWATCHER  RAWR-rah-Hawr-Hawr-RAWR!
APE 4  Hrr-hrhh-hrr-hrrr! Hff!
  MOONWATCHER  (slurp)
 APE 3  Grrrr!
 APE 6  Hrr-ruhf!
APE 5 Hoot.
MOONWATCHER  Hrrr?.
APE 5 Hurr-hrr-Hrr.
MOONWATCHER  HrrRR-Skreeech!
APE 4  HOOT! Hoot-hoot-Skreeee-Skreeeee!
APE 5 HOOT! RAWR! HAWR!
APE-LEADER  Hawr!Hawr! H-rawr! H-rawr!
MOONWATCHER  Rawr-Rawr!-ra-Rawr!
APE 4 Skreeee! Skreeeee! Skreeee! Skreeeee!
APE 5 RAWR! RAWR! RAWR! RAWR!
APE-LEADER  Rawr!  RAWR! RAAWR! Hrawr!
MOONWATCHER  HUR-HUR-HUR!-Ha-Rawr!
APE 4 Skreeee! Skreeeee! Skre-ee! Skraawwwr!
APE 5 RAWR! RAWR! RAWR! RAWR!
APE-LEADER  RAWR! RAAWR! RAAWR!
MOONWATCHER  HUR-HUR-HUR!-Ha-Rawr!
APE 4 Skreeee! Skraawwwr!Skreeee! Skraawwwr!
APE 5 RAWR! RAWR! RAWR! RAWR!
APE 6 Hrrff!  Hrrff! Hrrff! Hrrff!
APE-LEADER Hrawr!  Hrawr!  Hrawr!
APE 4 Skreeee! Skreeee!
MOONWATCHER Rawr! Rawr!
APE 6 Hrrff!  Hrrff! Hrrff! Hrrff!
APE-LEADER Hrr-HRAWR-Rah! Hrr-Hrr-Hrr..
APE 4 Skreeee!  Skreeee!
MOONWATCHER Hrrr! Rawr!
APE 6 Hrrff! Hrrff! Hrrff! Hrrff!
APE-LEADER  H-ha-RAWR! Rah-Rawr-Rah!
APE 4 Skreeee!  Skreeee!
APE 6 Hrrff! Hrrff! Hrrff! Hrrff!
APE-LEADER  Hrrr-ha-RAWR! Rah-Rawr-Rah! ARR-Arr!
APE 4 Skreeee!  Skreeee!
APE 6 Hrrff! Hrrff! Hrrff! Hrrff!
APE 7 Ulp!
APE-LEADER  Huh-HAWR-hrr! RAWR-huh!  RAWWWR!
APE 4 Skreeee!  Skreeee!
APE 6 Hrrff! Hrrff! Hrrff! Hrrff!
APE 4 Hrawr!  Hrawr!  Hrawr! Hrawr! 
APE 3 Hoot! Hoot!  Hoo-Hoot!
MOONWATCHER Skrreeech-Rawr-Rawr!  Hurr-hurr...
APE-LEADER  Hrr-Raw! Hrr-Raw!  RAWWR!
APE 6 Hrrff! Hrrff! Hrrff! Hrrff!
APE 3 Hrawr! Hrawr-uh! Hrawr! Hrawr-uh! 
APE 4 Skraaah!  Skraaah!
MOONWATCHER  Rawr!! Rawr! Hrr-Raawr!
MOONWATCHER  ...Hur-Har-UR-HAAWR-RAH!
APE 4 Skreeee!  Skreeee-aah!
APE-LEADER  Hrr-Raw! Raw!  RAWWR!
APE-LEADER  Ra-awrr! RAWR!
APE 6 Hrrff! Hrrff! Hrrff! Hrrff!
APE 7 Hoot-oot-hoot-hoot.
APE 4 Skraawww!  Skraaaw!
APE-LEADER  RAWR! RAWR!  Hur-hur-hur-RAWR.
APE 7 Hoot.
APE 4 Skraawww!  Skraaaw!
APE-LEADER  Hurah-rawr-rawr.
APE 4 Skraawww!  Skraaaw!
APE 6 Hrrff! Hrrff! Hrrff!
APE-LEADER  Hur-rawr-RAAAAAAWR!!
APE 4 Skraawww!  Skraaaw!
APE 6 Hrrff! Hrrff! Hrrff!
APE-LEADER  Hur-raw-rawh-rawh!!
APE 4 Skraawww!  Skraaaw!
APE 6 Hrrff! Hrrff! Hrrff!
APE-LEADER  A-aaarrrh!!!
APE 8 Skrraw!
APE-LEADER RAA-AAA-A-AAWR!!
APE 9 Skeee!
MOONWATCHER  ...Hur-Hur-arrh-hur!
APE-LEADER  Hur-rawr-RAAAAAAWR!!
APE 9 Skeee!
MOONWATCHER  ...Rarrh!
APE-LEADER  ...Hur-arrh!
APE 8 Arr-Arrh-ar-ar!
APE 4 (Distant) Skraawww!
APE 8 Hurr-hrr-ar-ar!
 APE 5 Skreee!
APE 4 (Distant) Raawr-ra-ah!
APE-LEADER Hr-hr-rawr-ra! 
APE 4 (Distant) Hrr-huuh-Skraaw-skraw!
APE-LEADER  RAAA-AAAWR!
APE 10  Hoot! Hoot! Hoot-hoot.
APE 10  Rawr!


2001: A Space Odyssey

Grunts, Hoots and Growls by the M-G-M Audio Library (as dictated by Arthur C. Clarke and Stanley Kubrick)

Pictures by Geoffrey Unsworth and Stanley Kubrick

2001: A Space Odyssey is available on DVD and Blu-Ray from Warner Home Entertainment.

MAD Magazine version of the scene