Sunday, September 9, 2018

Don't Make a Scene: The Americanization of Emily

The Story: "You Americans." 

When I worked in customer service, one phrase that always irked me—and it came up A LOT (so I learned quickly to suppress any irritation)—was when a client was going over some history of theirs that was unknown to me (I'd just met them, after all) they always said "you people." "You people," like there was a mass of individuals all conspiring to do them dirt. And I was implicit in that. I was part of the conspiracy. But, of course, I didn't do anything—I'd just met the person. But, there was guilt by association just because I worked for the same company that had committed the "heinous crime." But, you can't explain that to people. That would be logical thinking. And tribalism isn't logical.

It's merely convenient. 

That's why our world is beset by it. "Besieged" is more like it. It is much cheaper, easier, and takes less effort for governments, corporations, organizations, churches and clubs to treat us like a homogeneous lump and feed us their group-think than to actually treat anybody as individuals...metrics and statistics—rather than human beings—where "one size fits all." Doing as little as possible and still profiting from it is the way of governments, corporations, organizations, churches and clubs.

But, it is not the way the world works. We are not cogs in a machine, as much as we're valued as little as such. Each of us in our own way is unique and those groups only profit from us if we buy into what they're selling, and so part of their job is to convince us that we are all the same and that their way will buy us happiness (It certainly buys them that, if they only knew what "happiness" was). And if that doesn't work, they'll divide us into sub-sets and pit one against the other.

That feeds into our alligator-brains that is satisfied by the tribalism instinct, but it is only a distraction from what the real issue is...that we are being manipulated. This has led us to accept such constructs as three meals a day, 8 hour work days and five day work-weeks. It's been ever thus since the Industrial Revolution, when the machines took over.

("Dear me, what an outburst")

So, this scene is a fine example of what NOT to do.

Charlie Madison has a chip on his shoulder that is not a part of his uniform. A chip on his shoulder the size of Paddy Chayefsky, who was a pretty big guy. And that chip is set alight with a self-righteousness that burns for a full page of script by a casual remark from the English Rose from the motor pool, Emily Barham, that he has recruited to be a bridge partner at one of his soiree's; that's the thing about Paddy Chayefsky characters, none of them are circumspect. They shoot from the hip, like in a Western.* They may simmer for a couple of acts, but you know that, before 45 minutes have elapsed, they will explode into a five minute diatribe in which their issues are laid bare and their views are made crystal clear.

So, after a slightly contentious meeting where she has driven Madison and he has asked her presence at one of Jessup's get-together's—by posing as an injured RAF pilot to play on her sympathies—and after she has considered the offer on the advice of some of the girls in the motor-pool who have tales of the extravagance of the American parties in their time of rationing, and thought "why not?", she arrives at "the swankiest shop in town." Emily sees the promised land and is properly gob-smacked...and simultaneously repulsed...after all, she has lost her father, her brother, and her husband in the war. With all that sacrifice, so much exorbitance must border on the obscene.

But, that doesn't impress Charlie. He has a job to do. And the perspective of History. And he never worked for Chamberlain. So, he gets mad as Hell, and decides he's not going to take it any more (to quote another Chayevsky character). Cue the speech. And it's for the fact that Emily doesn't get offended, or take an equal amount of umbrage—and is, in fact, quite contrary about it—might be the initial spark of the romance that will bloom between them...because they are so unique and individual that makes them attractive and special to each other.

The Set-Up: The duties of Lt. Cmdr. Charles Madison (James Garner) are a little difficult to define: on paper, he is an adjutant of Rear Admiral William Jessup (Melvyn Douglas). But, the reality would be better described as "procurer" or (the title it was given for the role Garner played in The Great Escape) "scrounger". But, hereabouts he's a "dog robber." When Jessup has to lobby or impress, it falls to Madison to garner (sorry) whatever will curry favor...and make the impressionable...compliant. So, Madison does the bowing and scraping...procuring, while Jessup serves as host and the very epitome of competence, who can do anything for anyone, even in time of war.

Madison's planning a little get-together tonight, and has already asked a driver at the motor-pool, Emily Barham (Julie Andrews), if she 1) plays bridge and 2) if she would like to be a bridge-partner (and not euphemistically) for one of Jessup's guests that evening. She arrives at the event location to give her consent and to confirm the stories that have been bandied around the motor-pool.


Action!
CHARLIE: Very nice crystal, Tom. Danish? -
TOM: Yes, sir. 
CHARLIE: I don't much care for the centerpiece. You can take that out.
TOM: Of course. 
CHARLIE: Italian. Very lovely. -
TOM: Thank you, sir. 
CHARLIE: Cocktails at 5:30, and heavy on the gin. 
CHARLIE: Dinner at 6:00 promptly.
CHARLIE: Once you've cleared away... 
CHARLIE: I'll manage from there.
TOM: Very good, sir. 
EMILY: You're not limping, Commander. 
EMILY: It's the Arabian Nights. 
EMILY: Do you have chests of rubies in the bathroom? 
CHARLIE: Just perfumes and liquor. 
EMILY: I've heard about this room, Commander. All the girls talk about it, but I just couldn't believe it. 
EMILY: Bergdorf Goodman, Saks Fifth Avenue, Lord & Taylor
EMILY: Sheila's right. It is the swankiest shop in town. 
EMILY: Good heavens! Arpege perfume.
EMILY: How did you manage Arpege with the Germans in Paris? 
EMILY: There are Germans in Paris, aren't there? 
EMILY: There is a war on, I think. 
EMILY: You Americans must have heard something about it, I'm sure. 
CHARLIE: Just pick out a dress, honey, and be back at 5:30. 
CHARLIE: You American-haters bore me to tears, Miss Barham. 
CHARLIE: I've dealt with Europeans all my life. 
CHARLIE: I know all about us parvenus from the States who come over here and race around your old cathedral towns with our cameras and Coca-Cola bottles. 
CHARLIE: Brawl in your pubs, paw your women, 
CHARLIE: ...and act like we own the world. We over tip. We talk too loud. We think we can buy anything with a Hershey bar. 
CHARLIE: I've had Germans and Italians tell me how politically ingenuous we are. And perhaps so. But we haven't managed a Hitler or Mussolini yet.
CHARLIE: I've had Frenchmen call me a savage because I only took half an hour for lunch. The only reason the French take two hours for lunch is because the service in their restaurants is lousy.
CHARLIE: The most tedious lot are you British.
CHARLIE: We crass Americans didn't introduce war into your little island.
CHARLIE: This war, Miss Barham, to which we Americans are so insensitive is the result of 2,000 years of European greed, barbarism, superstition, and stupidity. 
CHARLIE: Don't blame it on our Coca-Cola bottles. Europe was a going brothel long before we came to town.
EMILY: Dear me. What an outburst.
CHARLIE: So lay off, Mrs. Miniver. If you don't like Hershey bars, don't take them.
CHARLIE: Pick yourself a frock, or get out. It's not my job to listen to your sentimental contempt.
EMILY: I could almost believe you flew for the RAF.
CHARLIE: I never flew for the RAF, and you know it.
EMILY: You didn't expect me to believe you for a minute, did you?
CHARLIE: Not for a minute.
EMILY: But why, Commander?
CHARLIE: You're here, Miss Barham.
EMILY: Yes, so I am.
EMILY: You're a complete rascal. I'll be back at 5:30.
CHARLIE: The Admiral will be delighted you're coming.
EMILY: Looking forward to it.
CHARLIE: If I can be of any service.
EMILY: I have my own clothes, Commander. I'll do without your Hershey bars.
EMILY: Do you have a girl, Commander?
CHARLIE: None of your damn business, Miss Barham.



The Americanization of Emily

Words by Paddy Chayefsky

Pictures by Philip H. Lathrop and Arthur Hiller.

The Americanization of Emily is available on DVD and Blu-Ray from Warner Home Video.






* I can assure you that if John Ford ever directed a Paddy Chayefsky script, he would use approximately 40% of the dialogue. He would have been content to have Jim Garner in the background with his arms across his chest in defense and his eyes squinting in irritation following Julie Andrews around the room.

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