The Story: Harvey Weinstein was found guilty of two of the five counts he was being charged with: one count of criminal sexual assault in the first degree and one count of rape in the first degree. Is anybody else bothered by the phrase "criminal sexual assault?" Is there any other kind? And my mind went to Sullivan's Travels, Preston Sturges' comedy about a Hollywood film-maker of light and randy films that have made a lot of money at the box-office, but now is obsessed with making a movie about the down-trodden (for those who only know movies after 1980, the name of the movie he wants to make is "O Brother, Where Art Thou?"—yes, the Coen Brothers knew it and did it deliberately). Dressing down and hitching rides, he reappears in Hollywood, where at a diner he meets "The Girl." That's it. Just "The Girl." She has no name throughout the entire movie and throughout the entire script. She's just one of the numerous nameless girls who tracks through Hollywood...trying to make a name for herself. At the time Sullivan meets her, she is done with Hollywood. In fact, she's on her way out, having gone through all the garbage that a girl can go through trying to get that name. And that includes running the gamut of letches in positions of hiring power wanting to take advantage of that power. And they're all combined into one nom de lizard—"Mr. Smearkase". That's the term I've been using for Weinstein for a very long time—but not exclusively to him. "All heels are pretty much the same." And time wounds all heels. Speaking of exploitation: Paramount had no idea how to "sell" Sullivan's Travels when it was first released, and so they took the exploitative route—Put Veronica Lake (and only Veronica Lake) on the poster. I don't know who came up with the idea but I wouldn't be surprised if there was a "Mr. Smearkase" in the publicity department. The Set-up: Movie director John L. Sullivan (Joel McCrea) wants to make a film of his times and so goes on a rather naive research trip, the first leg of which drops him off at a local diner.. Order Up.
JOHN L SULLIVAN: Good morning. COOK: Morning.
SULLIVAN: Give me a cup of coffee and a donut,
if that's enough for it. COOK: You want it plain or with powdered sugar? SULLIVAN: With a little cream. COOK: The sinker?
SULLIVAN: Any kind, or some rolls. I don't care.
COOK: Yes, sir.
THE GIRL: Give him some ham and eggs. COOK: Yes, ma'am.
SULLIVAN: That's very kind of you, sister,
but I'm not hungry.
A cup of coffee and a sinker
will fix me up fine.
THE GIRL: Don't be a sucker.
Give him some ham and eggs.
THE GIRL: The way I'm fixed, 35 cents
isn't going to make any difference.
THE GIRL: Here.
SULLIVAN: Thanks.
SULLIVAN: Things a little tough, huh?
THE GIRL: I wouldn't be sitting
in an owl wagon for local color.
THE GIRL: They locked me out
of my room.
SULLIVAN: That's too bad.
SULLIVAN: Well, things are tough everywhere.
War in Europe, strikes over here...
There's no work. There's no food.
THE GIRL: Drink your coffee while it's hot.
SULLIVAN: What did they lock you out of your room for? THE GIRL: Did I ask you any questions?
SULLIVAN: I'm sorry. THE GIRL: It's all right. SULLIVAN: You been in Hollywood long? THE GIRL: Long enough.
SULLIVAN: Trying to crash the movies or something? THE GIRL: Something like that.
SULLIVAN: I guess that's pretty hard to do, huh? THE GIRL: I guess so.
I never got close enough
to find out.
SULLIVAN: Oh. Sorry. THE GIRL: Say, who's being sorry for who?
Am I buying you the eggs
or are you buying me the eggs? SULLIVAN: I'd just like to repay you.
THE GIRL: All right, give me a letter of introduction to Lubitsch.
SULLIVAN: I might be able to do that. Who's Lubitsch?
THE GIRL: Drink your coffee.
SULLIVAN(into his coffee): Can you act?
THE GIRL: What did you say? SULLIVAN: I said, can you act? THE GIRL: Sure, I can act. Would you like me to give you a recitation? SULLIVAN: Go ahead.
THE GIRL: Skip it. My next act will be
an impersonation of a young lady going home...
THE GIRL: ...on the thumb.
SULLIVAN: In that outfit? THE GIRL: What about your own outfit?
SULLIVAN: I mean, haven't you got a car? THE GIRL: No. Have you? SULLIVAN: No, but...
THE GIRL: Then don't get ritzy.
THE GIRL: And I'll tell you some
other things I haven't got.
I haven't got a yacht,
or a pearl necklace,
or a fur coat,
or a country seat,
or even a winter seat.
THE GIRL: I could use a new girdle, too.
SULLIVAN: I wish I could give you some
of the things you need.
THE GIRL: You wouldn't be trying
to lead me astray, would you?
THE GIRL: You know, the nice thing about
buying food for a man is that you don't have
to laugh at his jokes.
THE GIRL: Just think... if you were some big shot,
like a casting director,
I'd be staring into
your bridgework saying,
"Yes, Mr. Smearkase.
No, Mr. Smearkase."
THE GIRL: "Not really, Mr. Smearkase."
THE GIRL: "Oh, Mr. Smearkase,
that's my knee. "
THE GIRL: Give Mr. Smearkase another
cup of coffee. Make it two.
THE GIRL: Want a piece of pie? SULLIVAN: No thanks, kid.
THE GIRL: Why, Mr. Smearkase, aren't you
getting a little familiar?
SULLIVAN: Look... (to Cook) Thanks.
SULLIVAN: Look, if you wanted to stay
in Hollywood a little longer... THE GIRL: I don't want to stay
in Hollywood a little longer.
I've used up all my money,
all my going-home money. SULLIVAN: I was just gonna say,
I have a friend that's out of town...
and you might be able to stay
at his place for a couple of weeks...
and maybe by then things
will break a little better for you. He might even be able to help you a little. THE GIRL: No, thanks.
SULLIVAN: There's no strings
to this, kid.
I know you don't know who I am, but
I used to know a few people around here.
And this guy's
really out of town.
THE GIRL: And you know a way in
through the window. No, thanks.
SULLIVAN: No. I'm pretty sure that in this case...
THE GIRL: I'm going home, big boy.
I can get a ride out of here
in a little while.
SULLIVAN: I don't like to think of you asking a
bunch of thugs for lifts along the highway.
-
THE GIRL: Then don't think about it. SULLIVAN: You mean you'd just get in any car that comes along?
THE GIRL: Anything but a Stanley Steamer. My uncle blew up in one.
SULLIVAN: That's terrible.
You can't tell what kind of a heel
is apt to be behind the wheel. THE GIRL: All heels are
pretty much the same.
SULLIVAN: Look. THE GIRL: Yes, Mr. Smearkase?
SULLIVAN: This friend of mine... the guy I was
telling you about that's out of town...
I'm sure he wouldn't mind
if I borrowed his car. THE GIRL: What is it, a street car? SULLIVAN: It's a car. Just wait here.
THE GIRL: You're just going to get
yourself in trouble. SULLIVAN: I'm not going to get myself in trouble.
I'm going to repay you for the ham and eggs.
THE GIRL: That isn't necessary,
big boy.
Someday, when your ship
comes in,
you can buy somebody that's hungry
some ham and eggs and be all square.
SULLIVAN: That's fine. Just wait here
and I'll be back before you can say...
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