Don't Make a Scene: The Apartment

The Story: 2024 was a rotten year—the chaser to a crappy decade. Too many people lost jobs, lost pets, lost friends and family, lost love. Lost hope. We need a drink in the worst way.

And the worst way would be alone in a smoke-filled bar on Christmas Eve with no place else to go.

The Apartment is a different kind of Holiday film—almost an anti-Holiday film, for there's not a Hallmark moment that the philandering executives who have control over "Bud" Baxter's upward mobility (and the key to his apartment) can't corrupt. They give lip-service to the Sanctity of Marriage and Family, and the rest of the anatomy to their mistresses. For "Bud," his turning a blind eye to the hypocrisy was an opportunity for advancement. But now, he sees the cost to the woman he's befriended and saved from a suicide attempt, Miss Kubelik, and he doesn't like what he sees now that his eyes have been opened.

So, he's drinking himself blind at the local bar.

This scene is great on so many levels. It's one of Billy Wilder's "time-capsule" moments where for an instant, a timely reference is made to "date" the film—the rest is evergreen, working in any era. I love the one-shot aspect of it, too; the two bar-flies aren't even looking at each other, except as reflections in a presumed mirrored bar, and their conversation is a bit askance, as well. There's communication, but no connection—except in the dramatic pauses where a mutual drink is called for. Both players have little intricate moments of expression change that it almost has the feel of a Burns and Allen routine.

It's just another lovely slice of Humble Pie that's served up regularly to the part-time resident of The Apartment.

Here's how.

The Set-Up: Christmas Eve—a time for men to be with their wives and girl-friends.

And, hopefully, they'll never meet.

For fast-tracker C.C. Baxter (Jack Lemmon), Christmas Eve means a bar is his home away from home. And his home is a love nest for the executives at the insurance company, where he is employed. Tonight his heart has been stabbed with a sprig of holly, as he's found that his boss, Mr. Scheldrake (Fred MacMurray) is using his apartment for a tryst with the gal that Baxter likes, elevator girl Miss Kubelik (Shirley MacLaine). It's Christmas Eve, and Baxter is hitting the nog with a bunch of other executives and bar-flies to the point where there's no elbow-room. And he's so in the bag that he wouldn't notice that the straw wrapper that's been shot his way was Cupid's Arrow. But it's another ship-wrecked sailor on the Sea of Love, Margie McDougall (Hope Holiday), and she and Bud pass in the Night Before Christmas.

Action!

Margie leaves her place, and carrying her handbag and her empty glass, comes up alongside Bud. Without a word, she reaches up and removes the wrapper from Bud's bowler.
MARGIE: You buy me a drink, I'll buy you some music. (sets the glass down)
MARGIE: Rum Collins.
Not waiting for an answer, she heads for the juke box.
Bud looks after her noncommittally, then turns to the bartender.
BUD: Rum Collins. (indicating martini glass) And another one of these little mothers.
At the juke box, Margie has dropped a coin in and made her selection. The music starts -- ADESTE FIDELIS. She rejoins Bud at the bar just as the bartender is putting down their drinks in front of them. Bud removes the new olive, adds it to the pattern on the counter in front of him. They both drink, staring straight ahead. For quite a while, there is complete silence between them.

MARGIE:(out of nowhere)You like Castro?  

(a blank look from Bud)

MARGIE:I mean -- how do you feel about Castro?

BUD: What is Castro?

MARGIE: You know, that big-shot down in Cuba with the crazy beard.

BUD: What about him?

MARGIE: Because as far as I'm concerned, he's a no good fink. Two weeks ago I wrote him a letter -- never even answered me.

BUD: That so.

MARGIE: All I wanted him to do was let Mickey out for Christmas.

BUD: Who is Mickey?

MARGIE: My husband. He's in Havana -- in jail.

BUD: Oh. Mixed up in that revolution?

MARGIE: Mickey? He wouldn't do nothing like that. He's a jockey. They caught him doping a horse.

BUD: Well, you can't win 'em all.

They sit there silently for a moment, contemplating the injustices of the world.

MARGIE(to herself): 'Twas the night before Christmas/ And all through the house/ Not a creature was stirring --Nothing --No action --

MARGIE(to herself): Dullsville!

(drinks; to Bud)

MARGIE: You married?

BUD: No.

MARGIE: Family?

BUD: No.

MARGIE: A night like this, it sort of spooks you to walk into an empty apartment.

BUD: I said I had no family -- I didn't say I had an empty apartment.

They both drink.

 

The Apartment

Words by I.A.L. Diamond and Billy Wilder

Pictures by Joseph LaShelle and Billy Wilder

 
The Apartment is available on DVD, Blu-Ray and 4k UHD from MGM Home Video.

Don't Make a Scene: The Apartment

The Story: The idea came from Hollywood.

Billy Wilder was watching Brief Encounter (the version directed by David Lean) and there's a scene where the two lovers rendezvous  at the flat of the man's friend, who unexpectedly comes back early, and finds them there. Of the two lovers, the woman runs off, embarrassed, but the man stays and is subjected to his friend's scorn and judgment.

And Wilder stopped thinking about the two lovers in the story, and started wondering about that guy who loaned the flat to his friend and found that he was using it for a romantic liaison. Something could be made of that.

But, you couldn't do too much, because, at the time, affairs weren't supposed to happen in movies, certainly not adulterous affairs, and then only if the participants were punished for their infidelity. In that way, the Hays Code was more consistent than God.

 

Once restrictions for movies started to get relaxed, Wilder thought again about that scene and recalled an incident that had recently happened in Hollywood. It occurred when producer Walter Wanger shot agent Jennings Lang for supposedly having a tryst with Wanger's wife—and Lang's client—actress Joan Bennett (who publicly denied any affair). The location for the assignation was the bungalow of a lower-level employee of Lang's agency, MCA. Wilder, and his steady collaborator, I.A.L. Diamond, started writing about the moral dilemma of such an employee, who wanted to get ahead in his corporate career, and was doing so by questionable means. The two moved the location from Tinsel Town to Corporate World without having to stretch credulity in any way, as you can buy casting couches in any furniture store in the world. And power corrupts, absolute-wise.

 

But, it's a new year. One hopes that things will be better with a fresh start, and that roadblocks of power can be kicked in the keister to allow limitless horizons of possibility. May we all be mensches.

 

The Set-Up: C.C. "Bud" Baxter (Jack Lemmon) is an employee with Consolidated Life of New York, an insurance company—Ordinary Policy Department, Premium Accounting Division, Section W, desk number 861. He is a cog, machine-wise, in the works of the company, but he has one asset that makes him attractive for advancement: he's unmarried and has his own apartment. This proves invaluable in his networking as he loans out his place to married company executives so they can cheat on their wives, infidelity-wise. As he moves up the corporate ladder, he loves the perk's, but when things start to get personal—he starts to lend his key to personnel manager Jeff Sheldrake (Fred MacMurray), who is having an adulterous affair with a woman Baxter knows, Fran Kubelik (Shirley MacLaine). At this point, Baxter has quit his job, having taken care of Fran, who, despondent over how Sheldrake was treating her, had attempted suicide in his apartment, finally deciding on the higher ground, morality-wise.

Action.

 
INT. CHINESE RESTAURANT - NIGHT 

It is five minutes before midnight, New Year's Eve. Sitting alone in the last booth is Fran, a paper hat on her head, a pensive look on her face. There are two champagne glasses on the table, and the usual noisemakers, but the chair opposite her is empty. Above the general hubbub, the Chinese pianist can be heard playing. 

After a moment, Fran glances off. 

Threading his way through the merrymakers crowding the bar and overflowing from the booths is Sheldrake. 

He is in dinner clothes, topped by a paper hat. 

Reaching the last booth, he drops into the chair facing Fran. 

SHELDRAKE Sorry it took me so long on the phone. But we're all set. 

FRAN All set for what? 

SHELDRAKE I rented a car -- it's going to be here at one o'clock -- we're driving to Atlantic City. 

FRAN Atlantic City? 

SHELDRAKE I know it's a drag -- but you can't find a hotel room in town -- not on New Year's Eve. 

FRAN (a long look at Sheldrake) 

FRAN Ring out the old year, 

FRAN ...ring in the new. 

FRAN Ring-a-ding-ding. 

SHELDRAKE I didn't plan it this way, Fran -- actually, it's all Baxter's fault. 

FRAN Baxter? 

SHELDRAKE He wouldn't give me the key to the apartment. 

FRAN He wouldn't. 

SHELDRAKE Just walked out on me -- quit -- threw that big fat job right in my face. 

FRAN (a faint smile) The nerve. 

SHELDRAKE That little punk -- after all I did for him! 

SHELDRAKE He said I couldn't bring anybody to his apartment -- especially not Miss Kubelik. 

SHELDRAKE What's he got against you, anyway? 

FRAN (a faraway look in her eye) I don't know. I guess that's the way it crumbles -

FRAN - cookie-wise. 

SHELDRAKE What are you talking about? 

FRAN I'd spell it out for you -

FRAN - only I can't spell.

The piano player is consulting the watch on his upraised left arm. He drops the arm in a signal, and the lights go out. At the same time, he strikes up AULD LANG SYNE. 

All over the dimly lit room, couples get to their feet, embracing and joining in the song. In the last booth, Sheldrake leans across the table, kisses Fran. 

SHELDRAKE Happy New Year, Fran.

Fran's expression is preoccupied. 

Sheldrake faces in the direction of the pianist, and holding his glass aloft, sings along with the others. 

As AULD LANG SYNE comes to an end, the place explodes noisily -- there is a din of horns, ratchets, and shouted greetings.

The lights come up again. 

In the last booth, Sheldrake turns back toward Fran -

SHELDRAKE Fran -- (looking around)

 - but she is no longer there. Her paper hat lies abandoned on her vacated chair. 

SHELDRAKE -- where are you, Fran? 

He rises, cranes his neck, trying to spot her in the crowd. 

DISSOLVE TO: EXT. BROWNSTONE HOUSE - NIGHT 

Fran, a coat thrown over the dress she was wearing at the Rickshaw, comes down the street almost at a run.

There is a happy, expectant look on her face.

She hurries up the steps of the house and through the front door. 

INT. STAIRCASE AND SECOND FLOOR LANDING - NIGHT 

Fran mounts the stairs eagerly. As she reaches the landing and heads for Bud's apartment, 

there is a loud, sharp report from inside. 

Fran freezes momentarily, then rushes to the door. 

FRAN Mr. Baxter! 

FRAN (pounding on door) Mr. Baxter! 

FRAN (pounding on door) Mr. Baxter! 

FRAN (pounding on door) Mr. Baxter!

The door opens and there stands Bud, the bottle of champagne he has just uncorked still foaming over in his hand. 

He stares at Fran unbelievingly. 

FRAN (sagging with relief) Are you all right? 

BUD I'm fine. 

FRAN Are you sure? How's your knee? 

BUD I'm fine all over. 

FRAN Mind if I come in? 

BUD (still stunned) Of course not. 

INT. THE APARTMENT - NIGHT 

Fran comes in and Bud shuts the door. The room is the same as we left it, except for an empty champagne glass standing on the coffee table. 

BUD Let me get another glass. 

He goes to one of the cartons, takes out a champagne glass wrapped in newspaper, starts to unwrap it. 

FRAN (looking around) Where are you going? 

BUD Who knows? Another neighborhood -- another town -

BUD - another job -- I'm on my own. 

FRAN That's funny -- so am I. 

(Bud, pouring champagne, looks up at her) 

FRAN What did you do with the cards? 

BUD (indicating carton) In there. 

Fran takes the deck of cards and the gin rummy score pad out of the carton, 

...settles herself on the couch, starts to shuffle the cards expertly.

BUD What about Mr. Sheldrake? 

FRAN I'm going to send him a fruit cake every Christmas. 

Bud sinks down happily on the couch, and Fran holds out the deck to him.

FRAN Cut. 

Bud cuts a card, but doesn't look at it. 

BUD I love you, Miss Kubelik. 

FRAN (cutting a card) Seven -- 

FRAN (looking at Bud's card) -- queen. 

She hands the deck to Bud. 

BUD Did you hear what I said, Miss Kubelik? 

BUD I absolutely adore you.  

FRAN (smiling) Shut up and deal! 

Bud begins to deal, never taking his eyes off her.

Fran removes her coat, starts picking up her cards and arranging them.

Bud, a look of pure joy on his face, deals -- and deals -- and keeps dealing. 

And that's about it. 

Story-wise. 

FADE OUT. 

THE END

 

The Apartment

 

Words by Billy Wilder and I.A.L. Diamond

 

Pictures by Joseph LaShelle and Billy Wilder

 

The Apartment is available on DVD and Blu-Ray from M-G-M Home Video.