Wednesday, August 13, 2025

Will the Real Alfred Hitchcock Please Stand Up?

It's Alfred Hitchcock's birthday today—he would have been 125. And there was a day last year, when I suddenly became besieged with a lot of Hitchcock documentaries, all purporting to use his words to get at the mystery behind the director of so many mysteries and thrillers. Even the names of the documentaries were creepily similar, confusingly so, which would have made the old guy sniff at the lack of originality, rather than chuckle.
But, the name is the thing. The name "Alfred Hitchcock" was a brand and more people knew his name and the type of entertainment he made than any other director. Like an irony in one of his movies, it was both a blessing...and a curse.


I Am Alfred Hitchcock
(John Ashton McCarthy
, 2021) A career overview, the type you're likely to see if someone has no real access to the subject and merely a large collection of clips to cull from. Think of it as an "Entertainment Tonight" career overview...with a little bit of speculation about what made Hitch "tick." But, not much.
 
And it's extensive: from home movies to his interviews—both filmed and merely audio as well as with some confederates, old and new—starting from Hitchcock's childhood, including (invaluably) his time in early British silents and German studios. And a lot of unseen talking heads. A couple of snatches of past Spielberg interviews are included, but most of the comments are from Eli Roth (for some reason), William Friedkin, Edgar Wright, and John Landis. Ben Mankiewicz weighs in. Much mention is made of Joan Harrison (as it probably should be, given the work she did for him in his American transition and on his television shows) and there is a lot of nice footage from the AFI salute to the man, including his extensive tribute to his secret weapon, wife Alma Reville. There are nice touches throughout, and it's quite entertainingly put together. But, as an exploration of the man, his movies, and how they all relate, it's pretty basic stuff.
 
 
My Name is Alfred Hitchcock
(Mark Cousins, 2023) The iconoclastic Irish documentarian (he made The Story of Film: An Odyssey and The Eyes of Orson Welles) makes his look at Hitchcock (for his first film's 100th anniversary) with a conceit that he's used in some of his lesser-known films, as a conversation between the filmmaker and the director-subject (voiced by Alistair McGowan and quite convincingly). Oh, some of the things that McGowan-Hitchcock says in the film are a matter of record, but Cousins uses this conversational version of "Alfred Hitchcock Explains It All To You" to build on themes that might have gotten lost in the chases and cameos, the Blondes and the wrong men and the usual accoutrements of a Hitchcock film—"the core of things" (as the faux-Hitchcock states). These are Cousins' personal thoughts and observances being seduced and manipulated by Hitchcock, who used the mechanics of cinema, the psychology of photography, and his own neuroses to dredge up our fears, raise our blood-pressures, and ponder our natures (while pandering to them, as well).
And so, though they're Cousins' observations through the voice of Hitchcock, one could hardly help thinking that Hitchcock is being misinterpreted ("You do know that movies are lies, don't you?" says the faux-Hitchcock at one point) as he was one of the most obvious of directors—what he intended he put on the screen. It's just that nobody had done things quite like that before, made movies like that before, thought thoughts like that and confessed them so nakedly like that before.
Cousins is generous with clips as he focuses on six themes that thematically run through the director's films: Escape, Desire, Loneliness, Time, Fulfillment, and Height. Just reading that list, one can tick off random instances from Hitchcock films that will prove the point, but that they run consistently through his work, even fleetingly more than proves Cousins' point.
 
At the same time, Cousins' Hitchcock has a marketer's point of view on making films. This version emphasizes "stars and glamour" as the motivator for attracting audiences, as they already have a sympathetic, empathetic view of the actors, doing a lot of the leg-work to get them on "their side." To the point where Cousins' Hitchcock avatar never mentions character's names in his movies, only the thespians. "When Cary Grant" does this or "when Grace Kelly does that."

 
"You think all the way through that cinema is going to be killed by television or television is going to kill cinema or America is going to kill Russia or Russia is going to kill America. But at the end, it’s the third one, the new one, the younger one, the YouTube version, that comes along and kills them all."
 
"They say that if you meet your double, you should kill him. Or, that he will kill you. I can't remember which, but...the gist of it is...that two of you is one too many. By the end of the script, one of you must die."
 
The wildest of the Hitchcock documentaries, Double Take is a "found-footage" documentary using even the very grain of the image to tell the story. Based on a Jose Luis Borges short story, "August 25, 1983" and expanded from Grimonperez's* earlier short Looking for Alfred, it is a long story, narrated by another Hitchcock sound-alike, Mark Perry, of an encounter a fictitious Hitchcock has in 1963 with himself from 1980. It's a shaggy-dog story, recreated with a Hitchcock lookalike, and a lot of editing between Hitchcock footage...from "Alfred Hitchcock Presents" and other sources, interspersed with news coverage of geo-political events and Instant Folgers commercials (which turn bad coffee into domestic drama). It's a bit of a satire about the new replacing the old, but not changing much for the transition. It doesn't precisely nail its thesis, events being difficult to bend to one's advantage. But, there are moments of wit and some lost opportunities.

 
Becoming Hitchcock: The Legacy of Blackmail
(
Laurent Bouzereau, 2024) Writer-director Bouzereau has made a career out of directing films in support of other films; watch any DVD of any "important" film of the last 30 years and Bouzereau has directed or produced it, even producing anniversary-soundtrack expansions of some film scores. His work has given him a rolodex of contacts and access to some of the great directors and the archives of many a film. His style is breezy, entertaining and imaginative—when he wants to get to the bottom of a story, he'll get there and make it as memorable as its subject. And when doing a documentary of, say, Mark Harris' Five Came Back, he'll shed the customary upbeat promotional stance required to gloss up the subject to a glittering press-release, and risk being too revelatory, even to the subject's disadvantage, in order to drive home his point and make it the definitive word on the subject. He's good. Very good. It's no wonder so many high-profile directors and producers trust him telling the story of their work.
And in his film for StudioCanal and TCM, Becoming Hitchcock, he also tries to get to the depths of what made Hitchcock not only unique but "a brand."  His thesis being that Hitchcock's 1929 film Blackmail was the first of what one could call "a Hitchcock film" with the tropes of wronged people, distinctive weapons, arresting blondes, landmark chases, eroticism, food fetishes and such being firmly in place as they would be for the rest of Hitchcock's career (what, no mothers or enclosed places?)
It's true to a certain extent, even considering there is some cherry-picking going on. But, if one is looking for "the" first "Hitchcock" film, Blackmail is the most likely suspect (the only reason it doesn't loom larger in peoples' memories is it was in his British period, on the cusp of the sound era, and—being in the public domain—it seems less valued as a marketable property than his other films (which is a bit ironic).
 
But, some elements that are discussed—the tropes—are in his earlier films, because what made Hitchcock Hitchcock were his obsessions and his neuroses, which were there in little sparks at the beginning with even his first film, his vulnerabilities only growing full-flower when he had more confidence in the control of his films (how's that for irony?).

But, sure, say it was Blackmail because of the chase through the British Museum (all done in studio, by the way). But, the film is also notable for being the director's first sound film—he did another version for silent cinemas that were not speaker-wired-up while making this one, sometimes shooting alternate footage for scenes where title cards needed to do the talking. There are, frankly, radical transitions using only sound, showing how freakishly ingenious Hitchcock could be playing with new toys. 
 
And how's this for radical? Hitchcock's "blonde" for this one was a Czech actress named Anny Ondra whose English was so heavily-accented that she was directed to just mouth the words while actress Joan Barry performed the vocal part out of sight of the camera. The illusion is almost flawless, noticeable only if you're looking (and listening for it). You come away from Bouzereau's film maybe not so assured that Blackmail set the template for what was "Hitchcockian" in the future, but certainly convinces that the man was a genius for figuring out ways for telling stories pictorially, psychologically...but also sonically.

But, then...we already knew that.
* Grimonperez was nominated for the "Best Documentary Feature" Oscar last year for his documentary Soundtrack to a Coup d'Etat
 


Sunday, August 10, 2025

Don't Make a Scene (Redux): Horse Feathers

The Story:
Here's a scene I've wanted to put up for a long time: the opening of Horse Feathers, one of those "pure" Marx Brothers movies—you know, without the extemporaneous lovers and accompanying musical numbers—oh, it has music, performed by the Brothers Marx, but the music blends and doesn't stop the movie cold.


I've said before (I think) that the former CNN news anchor Aaron Brown once stated that Marx Brothers movies was a tonic for him when he was recovering from a heart attack. I'm with him (although I've never had one, knock wood). A Marx Bothers film cures whatever ails you and its sense of absurdity blasts away all the scar tissue that can inform and restrict a life. There are no sacred cows and no ox goes un-gored. They are a beaming upraised middle finger to all things stodgy, authoritarian, self-important, and dogmatic. The Marx Brothers breathe fresh air into any stuffy situation. Watching them is like experiencing freedom with no cares.

Anything else is Horse Feathers.

Take your seats and hold on to your hats.

The Set-Up: As I recall, this IS the set-up; the movie's just started!

Action!
RETIRING PROFESSOR: ...And so, in retiring as President of this College, it is indeed a painful task to bid you all good-bye. 
RETIRING PROFESSOR: ...And now, with the utmost pleasure, may I present to you the man who is to guide the destinies of this great institution.
RETIRING PROFESSOR: Professor Quincey Adams Wagstaff.
RETIRING PROFESSOR: Professor, it is indeed an honor to welcome you to Huxley College.
PROFESSOR WAGSTAFF: Never mind that. Hold this coat.
RETIRING PROFESSOR: Eh, by the way, professor, there is no smoking.
PROFESSOR WAGSTAFF: That's what you say.

RETIRING PROFESSOR: It would please the faculty if you would throw your cigar away.
PROFESSOR WAGSTAFF: The faculty members might as well keep their seats. There'll be no diving for this cigar.
PROFESSOR WAGSTAFF: Members of the Faculty, Faculty members, students of Huxley, and Huxley students (I guess that covers everything): Well, I thought my razor was dull until I heard his speech. And that reminds me of a story that's so dirty I'm ashamed to think of it myself.
PROFESSOR WAGSTAFF: As I look out over your eager faces I can readily understand why this college is flat on its back. The last college I presided over, things were slightly different; I was flat on my back. Things kept going from bad to worse, but we all put our shoulders to the wheel and it wasn't long before I was flat on my back again!
PROFESSOR WAGSTAFF: Any questions? Any answers? Any rags, any bones (sings) any bottles today, any rags...(raps gavel) Let's have some action here. Who'll say 76? Who'll say 1776. That's the spirit! 1776!
PROFESSOR WAGSTAFF: No doubt you would like to know why I am here.  I came into this college to get my son out of it. I remember the day he left to come here, a mere boy and a beardless youth. I kissed them both good-bye. By the way, where is my son?
PROFESSOR WAGSTAFF: Young lady, would you mind getting up, so I can see the son rise?
PROFESSOR WAGSTAFF: So! Doing your homework in school, eh?
FRANK: Hello, old-timer!
RETIRING PROFESSOR: My dear professor, I'm sure the students would appreciate a brief outline of your plans for the future!
PROFESSOR WAGSTAFF: What?
RETIRING PROFESSOR: I said "the students would appreciate a brief outline of your plans for the future!"
PROFESSOR WAGSTAFF: You just said that! That's the trouble around here—talk, talk, talk!
PROFESSOR WAGSTAFF: Oh, sometimes I think I must go mad! Where will it all end? What is it getting you?
PROFESSOR WAGSTAFF: Why don't you go home to your wife? I'll tell you what, I'll go home to your wife, and outside of the improvement she'll never know the difference. Pull over to the side of the road there and let me see your marriage license.
RETIRING PROFESSOR: President Wagstaff, now that you have stepped into my shoes...
PROFESSOR WAGSTAFF: Oh, is that what I stepped in. I wondered what it was. If these are your shoes the least you can do is have them cleaned.
RETIRING PROFESSOR: The trustees have a few suggestions...
RETIRING PROFESSOR: ...they would like to submit to you.
PROFESSOR WAGSTAFF: I think you know what the trustees can do with their suggestions.
PROFESSOR WAGSTAFF: [singing]
I don't know what they have to say 
It makes no difference anyway 
Whatever it is, I'm against it.
No matter what it is or who commenced it,
I'm against it! 

Your proposition may be good 
But let's have one thing understood: 
Whatever it is, I'm against it. 
And even when you've changed it or condensed it,
I'm against it!

I'm opposed to it
On general principles
I'm opposed to it!
(He's opposed to it)
(In fact, he says he's opposed to it!)

For months before my son was born
I used to yell from night till morn: 
Whatever it is, I'm against it! 
And I kept yelling since I first commenced it,
I'm against it.

FRANK:
Knowing Dad as I do,
I'd not advise you
to displease him
or tease him,
No, no.
Don't double-cross him
Or toss him around.
When dear old dad
once gets mad,
he's a hound!

PROFESSOR WAGSTAFF:
My son is right, I'm quick to fight
I'm from a fighting clan.
When I'm abused or badly used,
I always get my man.

No matter if he's in Peru,
Paducah or Japan,
I go ahead, alive or dead,
I always get my man.

(Oh, what a whiz this fellow is,
A will like his is rare,
for he's a square
American)

I soon dispose of all of those
who put me on the pan,
Like Shakespeare said to Nathan Hale,
"I always get my man!"

(He always gets his man!)
That's what I said!
(He always gets his man!)
That's what I mean!
(He always gets his man!)
You're telling me?
(He always gets his man!)
Oh, are you listening?

(He gets his man! He gets his man!)
I always get...
I always get...
I always get, I always get,
I always get, I always get
I always get my maaaaaaan!
Splendid, Professor.
Congratulations, Professor!
Wonderful, Professor!
Marvelous!
PROFESSOR WAGSTAFF: Alright, scram, boys.  I'll meet you in the barbershop.
FRANK: Dad, let me congratulate you. I'm proud to be your son. PROFESSOR WAGSTAFF: My boy, you took the words right out of my mouth. I'm ashamed to be your father. You're a disgrace to our family name of Wagstaff, if such a thing is possible.
PROFESSOR WAGSTAFF: What's all this talk I hear about you fooling around with a college widow? No wonder you can't get out of college! Twelve years in one college. I went to three colleges in twelve years and fooled around with three college widows.
PROFESSOR WAGSTAFF:  When I was your age, I went to bed right after supper. Sometimes I went to bed before supper. Sometimes I went without supper and didn't go to bed at all.

PROFESSOR WAGSTAFF: A college widow stood for something in those days. In fact, she stood for plenty.
FRANK: There's nothing wrong between me and the college widow.
PROFESSOR WAGSTAFF: There isn't huh? Then you're crazy to fool around with her!
FRANK: Oh, but you don't know...
PROFESSOR WAGSTAFF: I don't want to talk to you about this again, you snob. I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse! You may go now! Leave your name and address with the girl outside and if anything turns up, we'll get in touch with you.
PROFESSOR WAGSTAFF: Where are you going?
FRANK: Well, you just told me to go.
PROFESSOR WAGSTAFF: So that's what they taught you in college. Just when I tell you to go, you leave me. You know you can't leave a schoolroom without raising your hand, no matter where you're going.
FRANK: Dad, this school has had a new president every year since 1888.
PROFESSOR WAGSTAFF: Yeah.
FRANK: And that's the year we won our last football game. Well, I like education as much as the next fellow...
PROFESSOR WAGSTAFF:  Well, move over and I'll talk to the next fellow.
FRANK: But a college needs something else besides education. And what this college needs is a good football team. And you can't have a good football team unless you have good football players.
PROFESSOR WAGSTAFF: My boy, I think you've got something there and I'll wait outside until you clean it up.
PROFESSOR WAGSTAFF: I know it's dangerous, but I'm gonna ask you one more question. Where do you get good football players?
FRANK: In the speakeasy down...
PROFESSOR WAGSTAFF: In a speakeasy? Isn't that against the law, selling football players in a speakeasy?
FRANK: Dad, two of the greatest football players in the country hang out in a speakeasy downtown.
PROFESSOR WAGSTAFF: Are you suggesting that I, the president of Huxley College, go into a speakeasy without even giving me the address?
FRANK: It's at 42 Elm Street. But you can't go there, it's unethical! It isn't right for a college to buy football players.
PROFESSOR WAGSTAFF: It isn't, eh? Well, I'll nip that in the bud. How about coming along and having a nip yourself
PROFESSOR WAGSTAFF: Or better still, you wait here.
FRANK: Anything further, Father?
PROFESSOR WAGSTAFF: "Anything further, Father"...
PROFESSOR WAGSTAFF: That can't be right. Isn't it "anything Father, further?"
PROFESSOR WAGSTAFF: The idea! I married your mother because I wanted children. Imagine my disappointment when you arrived.
PROFESSOR WAGSTAFF: (singing)
And I kept yelling since I first commenced it,
I'm against it.
AND EXIT.


Horse Feathers

Words by Bert Kalmar, Harry Ruby, S.J. Perelman, Will B. Johnstone and the Four Marx Brothers*

Pictures by Ray June and Norman Z. McLeod 

Horse Feathers is available on DVD from Universal Home Video.


* George S. Kaufman once said, while attending a Marx Brothers play he'd written: "I'm not sure, but I think I just heard something I wrote!"