Tuesday, July 22, 2025

Men in Black III

Sunday was International Moon Day (yes, that's a "thing") commemorating the date that human beings first put boot-treads on the Moon. That historic mission figured fictionally in this movie.

Written at the time of the film's release. 

Time Wounds All Heels
or
"Don't Ask Questions You Don't Want to Know the Answer To..."

The third "Men in Black" film had to go somewhere else but up. The first two films were variations on the "illegal alien" theme about a government organization that monitored the activities of extraterrestrials in the world and specifically New York City, and revolved around alien invasions and the containment of said aliens. And when you've seen one alien invasion directed by Barry Sonenfeld, you've seen them all, and hyper-kinetically at thatAnd once it's been established that "aliens can be anywhere" the joke runs a bit dry pretty quickly, especially when the sub-species can contain pug-dogs and large cockroaches. The second film tried to expand on those concepts and felt a bit thin in the process, concentrating a bit too much on the secondary characters rather than the basic plot and the character interactions.

So, where does Men in Black III go from there?
One of the nice aspects of the series has been its ability to still think outside the box, while expanding the horizons of just what that box might contain, be it variations of scale and dimension, even if only in afterthought. With the infinite reaches of space seemingly exhausted, the group (based, supposedly on an idea by Will Smith) has the series going back in time. Naturally. It ostensibly revolves around an Earth-takeover plot by another alien (one must ask at some point "why always us?"), "Boris the Animal" (who seems based on the DC Comics "Hell's Angel in Space" Lobo and is played with growly gutteral responses by Jemaine Clement from "Flight of the Conchords") who escapes from his maximum (and we mean maximum) security prison to find the man who sent him there 40 years ago—Agent K (Tommy Lee Jones). When he's unable to kill him here, the Boglodite finds another means to do so, and Agent J (Smith) wakes up the next morning, the only one with any memories of K past July, 1969. Agent K has been killed by Boris in the past, and J must journey back to try and save him.*
Once back there, J negotiates his way through a 1960's era way of doing things. Everything's a little less high-tech (a little less), but the MIB Agency is still there, as is the much younger Agent K (Josh Brolin, doing a bang-on interpretation of Jones) and J must solve the puzzle of saving the Earth (of course), while keeping K safe. The past sequences are greatMen in Black has exploited the "fish-out-of-water" angle perpetually—and new corners are being thrown out the whole time (My favorite being a brief glimpse of a "Barbarella"-type being escorted around MIB, and although Smith is a bit too "Red Bull" throughout the entire movie, check out his understated reaction to some Black Panthers). 
Great cast, too. Rip Torn is gone, but David Rasche plays him in the past, Emma Thompson is on hand as the new MIB head, Will Arnett makes a brief appearance as does Bill Hader. Toss in the chameleon-like Michael Stuhlbarg as an alien able to read multiple time-lines and there's always someone to deflect the eye, or hand things off from Smith.
But, the best thing about this "Men-in-Black" installment is resonance. The other two were fine, the first better than the second just for its novelty, but had a shelf-life of three minutes. Part of it is Sonenfeld's way of comically undercutting any meaning to the thing, by changing perspective—"you think you got a handle on it yet? Well, let me throw THIS at you!" The whole "the Universe is so big and cosmic that there's no way you can understand it because there's so many mysteries, so nothing is real" concept, which is the backbone of the series (and the source for most of its humor) leaves one with a feeling of "meh"—nothing matters in a vast uncaring, unfathomable Universe. 
Not here. The cold of Space has nothing to do with the leavening of Time, and, in this case, the franchise plays it straight, without a wink, a nod, a reveal, or a goo-spraying splat. For once, something really means something in the "Men in Black" Universe, and that venturing into uncharted territory makes the third time the charm.

  * I'm not saying anything here that isn't revealed in the trailer.

Sunday, July 13, 2025

Don't Make a Scene: Addams Family Values

The Story:
Oh, I know. I know. Things can get a little frustrating. Especially in these times. And they're only going to get worse. We just don't know it yet.
 
But, c'mon. Making a scene is not going to solve anything. It just makes a scene. And such things usually come with consequences. Or, at least, they should (although not so much in this day and age).
 
So...this scene from Addams Family Values, one of those few sequels better than the original. 
 
The Set-up: The Addamses are in crisis. With the birth of the newest of the spawn, Pubert, Gomez (Raul Julia) and Morticia (Anjelica Huston) are forced to hire a nanny (Joan Cusack)—always problematic—and said nanny has seduced and married Gomez's uncle, Fester (Christopher Lloyd). Gomez sees this as a crime against Nature (although he usually likes such things...).
 
Action.
 
114A INT. POLICE STATION 
ANGLE on a long-suffering POLICE SERGEANT,seated behind the precinct house's main desk. He swigs from a bottle of Pepto-Bismol. 
SERGEANT I'm warning you. I've had a bleeding ulcer. I have kidney stones. And I have a headache. Don't push me. 
GOMEZ (quietly, tenderly) Of course, officer. I have but one single request. 
SERGEANT Yeah? 
GOMEZ
I demand...
GOMEZ
...justice! Someone has married my brother! 
SERGEANT
No!
GOMEZ
She took him to... 
GOMEZ
...Hawaii! 
SERGEANT (humoring him) Get outta here. 
GOMEZ
They have moved into a large, expensive home, 
GOMEZ
where they make love constantly! 
SERGEANT
You got proof? Polaroids? I HATE when that happens...
GOMEZ
Arrest her! At once! Without delay! 
SERGEANT
Who? 
GOMEZ
Debbie! My brother's wife! The temptress of Waikiki! 
Thing strides onto the desk, and bangs his fist for emphasis. SERGEANT (studying Thing) Don't I know you? 
GOMEZ (to Thing) Thing? 
SERGEANT Lousy pickpocket! Why, I oughta ... 
(Thing scurries off the desk) 
SERGEANT Lemme get this straight - You want this babe arrested, because she and your brother are having too much fun? 
GOMEZ (barely able to say the words) They have ... a lawn. 
GRANNY And a mailbox! 
MORTICIA They mow.
GOMEZ Have you heard enough? 
SERGEANT (staring at Gomez and the family) Who are you? What are you? Who moved the rock? 
GOMEZ
Officer, you must issue a subpoena! I believe they own - 
MORTICIA
(interrupting him) Gomez! No! 
GOMEZ
A Buick. 
SERGEANT
Just leave. 
Leave quietly.  
SERGEANT
Leave now. 
SERGEANT
Don't make me call Ringling Brothers. 
GOMEZ
(staggering backwards clutching his head) Has the planet gone mad? 
GOMEZ My brother - 
GOMEZ - passion's hostage! 
GOMEZ I seek justice
 - 
GOMEZ denied!  
GOMEZ
(pulling himself together, and speaking to the entire room) I shall not submit! 
GOMEZ
I shall conquer! I shall rise! 
GOMEZ
My name is Gomez Addams, 
GOMEZ
and I have seen evil! 
Granny proudly holds up the baby. 
GOMEZ
I have seen 
GOMEZ
horror! 
Lurch smiles shyly, and perhaps gives a little wave to the crowd. 
GOMEZ
I have seen...
GOMEZ
...the unholy maggots which feast in the darkest recesses of the human soul! 
MORTICIA
(graciously, to the crowd) They're at camp. 
GOMEZ
I have seen all this, officer, 
GOMEZ
but until today I had never seen 
GOMEZ
- YOU! 
SERGEANT
(to the bailiff) Hook 'em. Book 'em. Cook 'em. 
SERGEANT
NOW!! 
 
 
Words by Paul Rudnick
 
 
Addams Family Values is available on DVD and Blu-Ray and 4K UHD from Paramount Home Video.