Sunday, April 10, 2022

Don't Make a Scene: Bull Durham

The Story:
Opening Day of the MLB 2022 was Thursday. Play ball. The ritual begins.

Rituals. Bull Durham—from which our scene is taken today—is less about baseball than it is about superstition.

Think about it. Baseball is a kid's game. These are adults playing a kid's game. So, of course, they're going to over-complicate it. A horse doesn't think about the stakes when he's brought out to the starting gate. It just wants to have a good run.

But, something starts to mess things up when you throw in that "winning isn't everything; it's the only thing" voodoo. Pro-athletes are like that thoroughbred horse at the starting gate. They're where they are because they're in good shape and they're good at what they do. But, that doesn't always produce desired results. Everyone's at the "top of their game." But, "the game" may not go the way they want to. Look at the stats—the best hitters in the league fail 70% of the time.

The fact that we're keeping stats means that we're looking at "the long game" and that's where the most famous superstition comes in—"the streak"—when the law of averages turns in your favor. Then, the pressure's on. And that pressure also influences the game because it influences the players.

Don't judge. You have your rituals, too, you in that favorite sports cap and team colors. You, who don't go to the game because "they always lose when I go." As if that has anything to do with it.
 
The professionals do that, too. The exercises, the warm-up's, the diet, the HGH. Keeping constant the monitoring of "signs" from the body, the tell-tale twinge, the warning ache, the fatigue. That's why I don't gripe when an athlete heeds their signs—when Simone Biles notices that "something's off" in that balance of "the zone" when the physics of momentum in blind free-fall might not stick the landing. Or—and this is controversial—when an athlete won't take a vaccine because they don't know what it might do to the very instrument they depend on to trust. It's just one more unknown in the many things you check on to ward off the six months of "maybe."
 
So, may unknowables to be afraid of. Except the things that are certain—that time is an enemy, and things at "peak performance" have nowhere to go but down.
 

It's all part of The Game. The Show.

The Magic.

Bull Durham is about superstition. It's just the setting is baseball.

Setting's are good....
 
The Wind-Up: It's not been a good season for the minor league Durham Bull's: they have a new rookie pitcher "Nuke" LaLoosh (Tim Robbins), who thinks he knows everything and knows nothing. Minor League vet "Crash" Davis (Kevin Costner) knows a lot and seen a few things (even though he can't get to "The Show" of the Big Leagues), so, he's been assigned to "mentor" the rook. And, as with every year, substitute teacher Annie Savoy (Susan Sarandon) picks out one player for stud, her own form of mentoring. Except the Bulls seem to be winning, which is unusual and particularly vexing for Annie. 
 
Play ball!
 
 
EXT. DURHAM STADIUM -- LATER -- NIGHT GAME IN PROGRESS -- 
Nuke on the mound. 
NUKE
Damn.
 
LARRY
(yelling from the dugout): Come on, Nuke! Show 'em what you got. 
CUT TO: INSIDE THE DUGOUT -- Skip and Larry spitting tobacco.
LARRY
Super rook! Show 'em your super rook! Super Nuke! Super Nuke! La Loosh! L.A.Loosh!
LARRY:
Lala Loosh!
L.A.Loosh! L.A.Loosh!
NUKE WINDS AND DELIVERS -- Very high. Ball three.

-[crowd groans] - 
CRASH
Just relax out there. Don't aim the ball. 
NUKE Damn. 
CUT TO: INSIDE THE DUGOUT -- 
SKIP
Nuke's overthrowing tonight. Don't look loose. 
SKIP
Anything bothering him? 
LARRY He says his chakras are jammed. He's having trouble breathing out of his, uh, 
LARRY
left eyelid? - 
BENCHWARMER Right eyelid. - 
LARRY
Right eyelid. -[crowd groans] - 

BACK TO THE MOUND
NUKE WINDS AND DELIVERS AGAIN -- 
-- Very high. Ball four. 


CRASH Jack, give me the ball.
NUKE
Fuck! -
UMPIRE Time out!
CRASH IS QUICKLY to the mound. 
{woman on PA] Up to the plate, Junior Shockley. 
CRASH
What's wrong? 
NUKE
I'm a little nervous. My old man's here. 
CRASH
Your dad's here? 
CRASH
Where's he at?
NUKE MOTIONS -- 

NUKE He's right behind home plate. 
NUKE
Don't look. 
NUKE
Don't look!
They both look.
NUKE
Shit.
P.O.V. NUKE'S FATHER SITTING in a special box seat. The man is 45, and is operating a home video camera taking pictures of his son. 
CRASH Look, he's waving. 
CRASH
Hey, he's just your old man. He's as full of shit as anybody.
TOMMY AND DEKE JOIN THEM at the mound. 
DEKE
Hey, what's going on? - 
TOMMY
Breathing through the wrong fuckin' eyelid again? - 
NUKE Shut up. - 
DEKE
(Hey,)
Did you guys hear about Jimmy and Millie? - 
NUKE Yep. - 
DEKE They got engaged! Can you believe that? 
TOMMY
Oh, yeah? Wait till I tell him she's gone down on half the Carolina League. 
CRASH
(threatening) Hey, anybody says anything bad about Millie, 
CRASH
I break his neck. 
NUKE
Excuse me, guys, I got a game to pitch here. -
JOSE THE FIRST BASEMAN JOINS THEM ALL at the mound. 
JOSE
[speaking Spanish] Hey, you guys. Don't throw me anything. My girlfriend put a curse on my glove. 
NUKE
I'll take the hex off the fuckin' glove. Give me the glove. 
JOSE
You gotta cut the head off a live rooster. -
MICKEY JOINS THE CROWD from third base. 

[man] Come on! Play ball! -
CUT TO: THE DUGOUT -- SKIP AND LARRY watch the growing meeting. 
SKIP
What the hell's going on out there?
LARRY
Looks like a convention. Pretty soon they ought to call the roll. 
LARRY
[laughing] - 
SKIP
Get your ass out there and check It out. - 
LARRY
You bet. -
CUT TO: THE MOUND -- Larry joins the convention. 

[man] Let's play some baseball! -
[woman] Hurry up! 
LARRY
Excuse me. What the hell's going on out here? 
CRASH
Well, 
CRASH
Nuke's scared 'cause his eyelids are jammed and his old man's here. 
CRASH
We need a live roo- 
CRASH
Was it a live rooster? We need a live rooster to take the curse off José's glove. 
CRASH
And nobody seems to know what to get Millie or Jimmy for their wedding present. - 
CRASH
That about right? - 
DEKE That's right. 
CRASH
We're dealing with a lot of shit. 
LARRY
Okay, well, uh, candlesticks always make a nice gift, 
LARRY
and maybe you could find out where she's registered. Maybe a place setting or maybe a silverware pattern's good. 
LARRY
Okay, let's get two. Here we go.

 
Words by Ron Shelton
 
Pictures by Bobby Byrne and Ron Shelton
 
Bull Durham is available on DVD and Blu-Ray from from M-G-M Home Entertainment and the Criterion Collection.



  

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