Blogging By Cinema-light: Don't Make a Scene: Chasing Amy

The Story: "Silent Bob" speaks.

One of the conceits of Kevin Smith's early films was the insertion of two background characters, the half-baked stoners, Jay and Silent Bob...played by Jason Mewes and the director himself. The two just hung out wherever the movie took place. First appearing in Clerks, then Mallrats, then Chasing Amy, the two were distractions and a stoned greek-chorus (performing solo as Jay was traditionally the only one who talked) and were, at least initially, a way for the director to shoot something if his movie's stars weren't available that day.

One would be tempted to say that they were Smith's version of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, but one is loathe to give Smith THAT much credit. They are, most certainly, Smith's version of C-3PO and R2-D2, a little more rusty while simultaneously being very well-oiled; one talks, the other doesn't, but the two have no problems communicating, and thus summing up, expositioning, or providing tangential comic relief.

But here, Silent Bob breaks his silence to put in his corked-up well-spring of wisdom to set up the second act of the movie, the director-writer giving himself the perfect opportunity to provide some perspective and sanity in a situation desperately in need of some common sense, as well as giving his production a dramatic goose from an otherwise unheard-from source.

Chasing Amy is widely regarded as Smith's best film, and it just might be for this one scene which cracks through the man-boyishness of the other y-chromosonal denizens of Smith's "View Askew inerverse."

The Set-Up: Holden McNeil (Ben Affleck), creator of the "Bluntman and Chronic" comic book meets Alyssa Jones (Joey Lauren Adams), another scribe at a comic convention and the two start a friendship that has long odds at the kind of romantic relationship he'd want as he's been told she's gay. He is delighted that she responds to him and he couldn't be happier—until his co-creator and pal Banky Edwards (Jason Lee), feeling that the affair is driving a wedge between him and Holden creatively and personally, informs him that Alyssa has more of a sexual history than previously suspected. This unnerves the immature Holden and he pours out his soul to his "Bluntman and Chronic" models, Jay and Silent Bob (Jason Mewes, Kevin Smith) over a meal and cigarettes.

Action.

JAY(to Holden) So, if you're all in love with her, what's the problem?

HOLDEN The problem is shit like that. It was one thing when it was just girls - that was weird enough. But now you throw guys into the mix - two guys at once, no less. All that experience...What am I supposed to think?

JAY You think good; because now she'll be all true blue and shit. The bitch's tasted life, yo. Now she's settlin' for your boring, funny-book-makin' ass.

HOLDEN Settling for my boring ass. That's comforting, Jay. Thanks.

JAY That's what I'm here for.

HOLDEN I don't know, man..

HOLDEN I'm just having a problem with all of it I can't get it out of my head these visuals of her doing all this shit. And I don't know why I can't let it go. Because I'm crazy about this girl. I look at this girl, I see the future. I see kids. I see grand- kids.

JAY You're scaring me.

HOLDEN Yeah, well, I'm scaring myself. Because I think so much of this girl, and then I can't get stupid shit like 'Finger Cuffs' out of my head. (shakes his head)

JAY I don't know...I don't know what I'm doing.

Holden looks out the window. Jay continues to roll his joint. There's silence. Then...

BOB You're chasing Amy.

Holden's head snaps forward. He stares, wide-eyed at Silent Bob.

HOLDEN What..what did you say?

BOB You're chasing Amy.

Holden stares, shocked. He looks to Jay, who's still rolling his joint.

JAY What do you look so shocked for, man?

JAY Fat bastard does this all the time.

JAY He thinks just because he never says anything, that it'll have some huge impact when he does open his fucking mouth.

BOB Jesus Christ, Why don't you shut up? Always yap, yap, yapping all the time. Give me a fucking headache.

BOB (to Holden) I went through something like what you're talkin' about. Couple Years ago. This chick named Amy.

JAY When?

BOB A couple of years ago.

JAY What'd she 'Live in Canada' or something? Why don't I remember this?

BOB Bitch, what you don't know about me...

BOB ...I can just about squeeze into the Grand fucking Canyon.

BOB Did you know I always wanted to be a dancer in Vegas?

Jay and Holden look at him. Silent Bob busts a move with his hands.

BOB Hunhh? Bet you didn't know that shit, did you?

JAY Just tell your fucking story so we can get out of here and smoke this.

BOB (to Holden) So there's me an Amy, and we're all inseparable, right? Just big time in love.

BOB And then about four months down the road, the idiot gear kicks in, I ask about the ex-boyfriend. Which, as we all know is really a dumb move, I know, but you know how it is - you don't really want to know, but you just have to know... stupid guy bullshit. Anyway she starts telling me all about him -

BOB ...how they fell in love and how they went out for a couple years, and how they lived together, her mother likes me better, blah, blah, blah

BOB - blah blah blah and I'm okay. But then she drops the bomb on me

BOB ...and the bomb is this: it seems that a couple times while they were goin' out, he brought other people to bed with them - menage a tois, I believe it's called.

BOB Now this just blows my mind, right?.

BOB I mean, I'm not used to that sort of thing, right? I was raised Catholic, fer God's sakes.

JAY Saint Shithead.

Silent Bob backhands him. Jay raises his fist as if to strike.

BOB (to Jay) Do something.

BOB (to Holden) So I'm totally weirded out by this, right, and I just start blasting her. This is the only way I can deal with my feelings, so I deal with it by calling her a slut, right, and telling her that she was used -

BOB I mean, I'm out for blood. I really want to hurt this girl -

BOB And I'm like "What the fuck is wrong with you?" and she's just all calmly trying to tell me that it was that time...

BOB ...in that place, and she doesn't think she should apologize because she doesn't feel like she's done...

BOB ...anything wrong.

BOB And I'm like "oh really?" That's when I look her straight in the eye and I tell her it's over.

BOB I walk.

JAY Fucking a.

BOB No, idiot. It was a mistake. I wasn't disgusted with her, I was afraid.

BOB At that moment, I felt small - like I'd lacked experience, like I'd never be on her level or never be enough for her or something, you know what I'm saying.