The Story: Today is the start of National Suicide Prevention Week. Why there's a specific "week" for it, I have no idea. You'd think it would be a year-long "thing."
Here is the standard disclaimer we hear these days:
If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts or a crisis, please reach out immediately to the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255 (or simply dial 9-8-8) or text HOME to the Crisis Text Line at 741741. Or use this website https://988lifeline.org/help-yourself/for-deaf-hard-of-hearing/ These services are free and confidential.
For our part, here's this scene from Hannah and Her Sisters, the Woody Allen film from 1986. Allen has always strayed into dangerous territory—so much so that some of his films can come off as extraordinarily insensitive later in their attempts to make a joke...or a point.
But, they are never not thought-provoking, and I like that, whether in his more serious films or his "early, funnier ones" (even that little neurotic self-criticism is akin to comedy gold).
As someone who has lost friends to suicide and had my own thoughts in times of despair, I can say that waiting 24 hours before doing anything drastic is a good practice, and I can assure you, it will get better.
The Set-up: Mickey (Woody Allen) ex-husband of Hannah (Mia Farrow) is an infertile, hypochondriachal television writer going through an existential crisis. Every shift in his physical condition could be a brain tumor, but even after being declared healthy, the relief is short-lived and he starts to search for some meaningfulness in his life. Experiments with other religions proves fruitless, and, despairing, decides to take his own life. Fortunately, he botches it, but, finds a way to cope.
Action.
Next, the film cuts to an almost isolated path in Central
Park, complete, with old-fashioned streetlamps and scattered
leaves. Holly and Mickey stroll into view, deep in
conversation.
HOLLY
(gesturing)
Gosh, you really went through a
crisis, you know that? H-how did
you get over it? I mean, when I ran into you, you
seemed, you seemed just perfectly
fine. Well, you seem fine now.
MICKEY
Well...
(chuckling)
I'll tell you.
(sighing)
One day about a month ago...
The film abruptly cuts to Mickey's flashback, a visual counterpoint to the story he is telling Holly.
The film abruptly cuts to Mickey's flashback, a visual counterpoint to the story he is telling Holly.
A close-up
of a nervous, perspiring, and panting Mickey alone in his
apartment appears on the screen as his voice is heard.
MICKEY (V.O.)
...I really hit bottom. You know, I
just felt that in a Godless universe,
I didn't want to go on living. Now
I happen to own this rifle...
(coughing)
MICKEY (V.O.)
...which I loaded, believe it or
not, and pressed it to my forehead.
And I remember thinking, at the time,
I'm gonna kill myself. Then I
thought...what if I'm wrong?
What if there is a God? I mean,
after all, nobody really knows that.
The camera moves past the desperate Mickey to a mirror on
the wall behind him. Its reflection shows his spiral
staircase and some standing lamps. A clock faintly ticks.
MICKEY (V.O.)
But then I thought, no. You know,
maybe is not good enough. I want
certainty or nothing.
MICKEY (V.O.)
And I remember
very clearly the clock was ticking,
and I was sitting there frozen, with
the gun to my head, debating whether
to shoot.
Mickey, holding the rifle, is seen running over to the
shattered mirror. The sounds of his excited neighbors, their
shouting, a knocking door, are heard as he continues his
tale.
MICKEY (V.O.)
I had been so tense, my finger had
squeezed the trigger inadvertently...
NEIGHBOR #1
(offscreen, overlapping)
What's happening? Wh-wh-what's going
on?
MICKEY (V.O.)
(continuing)
...but I was perspiring so much, the
gun had slid off my forehead and
missed me.
NEIGHBOR #2
(offscreen, overlapping)
I don't know. I heard a gun. Is
everything all right?
Mickey, still brandishing the rifle, runs into his sunlit
living room. He looks around frantically, his shirt loose.
The
doorbell rings; the neighbors begin pounding at the door.
MICKEY (V.O.)
and-and I don't
know, the whole scene was just
pandemonium. And, uh, you know, and
I-I-I-I-I ran to the door.
Mickey runs offscreen briefly to answer the door.
MICKEY (V.O.)
I-I-I-I didn't know what to say.
You know, I was, I was embarrassed
and confused, and my-my-my mind was
r-r-racing a mile a minute...
He returns onscreen, panting; he looks frantically once again
around the living room.
The film cuts to a West Side street. It's an overcast day.
197.
Mickey, walking slowly along the sidewalk, passes several
other pedestrians and numerous storefronts, including Klein's
Pharmacy and a "Bar-B-Q" take out. Occasionally, he is
obscured by a tree trunk on the opposite side of the street;
a few taxis go by as he talks over the scene.
MICKEY (V.O.)
I...I-I-I-I had to get out of that
house. I had to just get out in the
fresh air and-and clear my head.
And I remember very clearly.
MICKEY (V.O.)
I walked
the streets. I walked and I walked.
I-I didn't know what was going through
my mind. It all seemed so violent
and un-unreal to me. And I
wandered...
The movie cuts to the exterior of the Metro movie theater,
with its smoked glass entrance doors and its Art Deco feel.
An old publicity photo hangs inside.
Mickey's reflection is
seen at the almost-transparent doors, as well as the
reflection of the street and various cars whizzing by. His
reflection walks towards the theater entrance; he continues
his story.
MICKEY (V.O.)
...for a long time on the Upper West
Side, you know, an-and it must have
been hours! You know, my, my feet
hurt. My head was, was pounding,
and, and I had to sit down.
MICKEY (V.O.)
I went
into a movie house.
Mickey walks into the movie house. He is seen through the
glass doors, which still reflect the street and traffic
outside.
He makes his way through the lobby into the actual
theater.
MICKEY (V.O.) I just, I just needed a moment to gather my thoughts and, and be logical, and, and put the world back into rational perspective. 198.
MICKEY (V.O.) I just, I just needed a moment to gather my thoughts and, and be logical, and, and put the world back into rational perspective. 198.
The film abruptly cuts to the theater's black-and-white
screen, where the Marx Brothers, in Duck Soup,
where Mickey slowly sits
down in a balcony seat. The "xylophone" music stops and
changes to "Hidee-hidee-hidee-hidee-hidee-hidee-ho" as sung
by the Marx Brothers and ensemble in the movie. The singing
continues faintly in the background as Mickey continues his
tale:
MICKEY (V.O.)
and, you know, the movie was a-a-a
film that I'd seen many times in my
life since I was a kid, an-and I
always u-uh, loved it.
MICKEY (V.O.)
And, you
know, I'm, I'm watching these people
up on the screen, and I started
getting hooked o-on the film, you
know?
The film cuts back to the black-and-white movie screen as
Mickey continues to talk. The Marx Brothers, as well as the
hundred-odd other cast members in Duck Soup, are kneeling
and bowing as they sing "Hidee-hidee-ho."
They kick their
heels up in the air. They sway back and forth, hands clasped,
singing "Oh-h-h-h-h-h..."
MICKEY (V.O.)
...And I started to feel how can you
even think of killing yourself?
I mean, isn't it so stupid?
The movie cuts back to Mickey, sitting almost obscured in
the dark theater. The Oh-h-h-h-h-h's coming from the
offscreen movie are heard as he continues to speak.
MICKEY (V.O.)
Well, you know, don't you want to be
part of the experience? You know,
what the hell, it-i-it's not all a
drag. And I'm thinking to myself,
geez, I should stop ruining my life...
199.
As Mickey talks, the film cuts back to the antics of the
Marx Brothers on the black-and-white theater screen. The
four brothers are now swaying and singing and strutting,
their voices indistinct over Mickey's narration.
MICKEY (V.O.)
...searching for answers I'm never
gonna get, and just enjoy it while
it lasts. And...you know...
The film is back on Mickey's dark form in the audience.
MICKEY (V.O.)
...after, who knows? I mean, you
know, maybe there is something.
Nobody really knows. I know, I know
"maybe" is a very slim reed to hang
your whole life on, but that's the
best we have.
As Mickey continues, the film cuts back to Duck Soup on the
black-and-white screen. The Marx Brothers are sitting on a
judge's bench, playing banjos and singing with the other
cast members.
They jump down from the bench, still singing.
Their voices swell.
MARX BROTHERS & COMPANY
"Oh, Freedonia Oh, don't you cry for me..."
The Marx Brothers kneel, strumming their banjos, and the
movie cuts back to Central Park.
Words by Woody Allen
Pictures by Carlo Di Palma and Woody Allen.
Hannah and Her Sisters is available on DVD and Blu-Ray from M-G-M Home Video.
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