No one knew—nobody, not the stars, not the producers—that when Dr. No hit theater screens in 1962, there would still be an audience for James Bond films fifty years later—and that they would be making more money than ever. Producers Harry Saltzman and Albert R. Broccoli were in it for the short term windfall—they were in the movie business, after all—and never expected the series to last more than ten years.
But the series endured, outlasting the stars, the producers (and distributing movie studios!), the Cold War around which they were based, and every journalist-naysayer who thought it was long since time for the series to cash in its chips and retire for the evening. The only thing that's stayed the same—The Queen and Country. James Bond must be doing something right.
So did the series creators. They took Fleming's sado-mysoginist bulldog and wrapped him in mink and precious metals. Initial director Terence Young brought the style, and first "official" Bond, Sean Connery, and he conspired to give Bond his flip humor, something the whole team began utilizing in the second film, From Russia With Love. By the third film, they were trading buzz-saws for laser-beams and the films left the novels' grit behind for immaculate stainless steel villainy. Fleming's "blunt instrument" was all but forgotten in the stunts and vast expanses of chrome.
It only took forty years but somehow the producers and the audience have come together to bring Fleming's Bond to the silver-screen and see it succeed. Dr. No changed Fleming to increase the laughs and entertainment quotient and as long as the movies were in the Swingin' 60's it seemed to work. But once the '60's and the series' Rosetta Stone--Connery--passed, the movies and Fleming parted company to provide audiences with bread, circuses and gadgets-up-the-tailpipe jalopies. When attempts were made to take Bond back to his graying roots--with OHMSS and Licence To Kill--the poor box-office had the producers fleeing back to their bullet-proof tuxedos. But, finally, with an official adaptation of the very first novel, everyone seems to be on the same page...and fortunately it's one written by Ian Fleming.
We look back (in a terse writing short-hand and multi-"0" ratings) at the series, it's fore-bearers, pretenders and cousins, and rate just how many zeroes each has earned. They are grouped by who's in the barrel at the time.*
Casino Royale (William H. Brown Jr., 1954) This one-hour adaptation for live-television's "Climax!" series starred Barry Nelson as "card-sharp" "Jimmy" Bond (American) taking on LeChiffre played by Peter Lorre. Primitive, a bit ill-timed in execution, it is a fairly faithful adaptation of Fleming's story although some liberties had to be taken (Bond's torture: tied up in a bathtub, his toes crushed by pliers (Ah, The Golden Age of Television), Bond never questions his assignment, Vesper lives). A not bad first attempt, but not great, either.
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Right. No one'll notice.
We finally see Blofeld and it's Donald Pleasance with one nasty scar—one critic said he had a head that looked like an egg that cracked on the boil—and the voice of a braying chihuahua. Script logic and any resemblance to the Fleming story goes down the ol' lava-tube. Connery hits his marks professionally, but that's about it. Big ninja attack in the volcano!! Goes...on...forever. Bond ends up with girl in a raft.
0000
On Her Majesty's Secret Service ( Peter Hunt, 1969) Connery's gone, but not for good. George Lazenby is Bond...only semi-good. He looks fine in stunts but so does a 2 by 4 when used right, although he is effective in two scenes (where he actually isn't dubbed by another actor!) Editor Peter Hunt directs with an eye towards more color and a pell-mell style that looks distinctly different. Bond goes undercover to track down Blofeld who's now Telly Savalas. Bond falls in love with Diana Rigg who's groovy, baby. Lots of good skiing action. Dialogue has some pop to it. One bad love-montage with music (although that music is Louis Armstrong's last recorded song, and John Barry's score may be his best). No gadgets to be seen. Nice crisp attack on mountain-top HQ, then a big wedding. Bond ends up with dead wife in his car.
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Diamonds Are Forever (Hamilton, 1971) Connery's back, jowlier and with a slightly grayer toupee. Camp abounds. Effete Blofeld (played now by Charles Gray) has taken over a billionaire recluse's tech empire. Big diamond laser thingy in sky. Gay hoodlums. Played for laffs (what else can you do with Jill St. John as the Bond-girl and the gaudy excesses of Las Vegas as a location?), but some good jokey dialog (by Tom Mankiewicz) still manages to surface. A none-too-impressive final battle on an offshore oil rig. Bond ends up on ocean liner with girl.
0000
Live and Let Die (Hamilton, 1973) Roger Moore is Bond, and kinda "mannequins" his way through it. Racist little plot ("Blaxploitation movies" were "in" at the time), but the adaptation is a bit more hip than the racist little book it was based on (the series will be using bits and set-pieces from it in later movies...like For Your Eyes Only and Licence To Kill). Yaphet Kotto is not sure what movie he's in, as he can't maintain a consistent attitude (let's see—malice or bon homie?). Jane Seymour's not sure what movie she's in, as she feels she has to act. More chases, less material stringing the movie together making it feel a little threadbare. Bond ends up with girl on train.
0000
The Man with the Golden Gun (Hamilton, 1974) Moore's back and is a little meaner, which is hard to believe—and doesn't really set well. Villain Cristopher Lee would have been a terrific Scaramanga in another movie--here he's a bit too cheery. Britt Ekland is the bottom of the barrel for Bond-girls. But is better than Herve Vellechaize as Scaramanga's hench-thing. Exotic locales. Energy "crisis" plot (it was, after all, 1975!) High-point is a barrel-rolling car stunt across river. Still looks amazing. Bond ends up with girl in junk. Precisely!
000
The Spy Who Loved Me (Gilbert, 1977) Moore at his best, relaxed and amused, but the movie is Bond-by-formula (the novel by Fleming which reads as a Bond-girl confessional, was no help). Lazy writing. Too-easy seductions. Bond has it too easy all the way. Jaws--"Nuff said." Chase after chase with a plot spray-painted from the "You Only Live Twice" stencil—also directed by Gilbert. Marvin Hamlisch score feels like "James Bond! The Musical!" Barbara Bach is plastic-pretty, but her acting is a little one-note. But, blimey, that's a great stunt before the credits. Good will of that can't sustain the movie, though. Bond "ends up" with girl in bath-o-sub-escape-thing.
000
Moonraker (Gilbert, 1979) Moore is less. Very lazy writing. Venice sequence with hover-craft gondola and double-taking pigeons. The Bond movies seem to be running out of locations, so the only direction to go is up. Space movie with ray-gun shoot-out, ala Thunderball's underwater battle. Michael Lonsdale is a fine actor, but here he's very non-committal. "Jaws" falls in love with Pippi Longstocking. Bond-girl's name is Holly Goodhead (and she's supposed to be taken seriously?). Last performance of Bernard Lee as "M." Bond ends up with girl in orbit. Shoulda stayed there.
00
For Your Eyes Only (John Glen, 1981) More plot. Less stunts. Moore's starting to show age. Broccoli's step-son, Michael Wilson, starts to actively participate in the series, resulting in an opening sequence that acknowledges Bond's marriage from OHMSS, then throws "Blofeld" down the chute. Great climbing sequence, though. Borrowed boat-dragging torture from Fleming's "Live and Let Die" works well. Major ick factor as under-age gymnast Lynn-Holly Johnson hits on grand-dad Moore. Topol makes a good ally though he chews a lot of scenery. Bond ends up with girl on boat, then jumps overboard.
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Never Say Never Again (Irvin Kershner, 1983) Non-EON production that brought Connery back. Writer Lorenzo Semple (Batman television series) briefly uses the "age" thing but then returns to Bond as elder stunts-man. Great cast with Kim Basinger, Klaus Maria Brandauer (superb!), Max Von Sydow, Edward Fox and an over the top Barbara Carrera (never better). Even Rowan Atkinson. Borrowed "Thunderball" plot with some 80's relics (Bond and villain "duel" over a video game?). Last third of the movie is slipshod and rushed. Time to say "Never Again." Bond ends up with girl in a therapeutic hot-tub. Good choice, that.
000
A View to a Kill (Glen, 1985) Speaking of not coming back. Roger Moore's last outing and its irritating. It's fun to have Christopher Walken (as the villain) and Patrick MacNee (as a disposable field operative), but not to have Grace Jones and Tanya Roberts (who's particularly grating). Oddly unexciting film about a plot to cause The Big California Earthquake. Villain's a genius who produces computer chips, but doesn't seem to realize he's trying to kill a sizable chunk of his customer base. Hmmm. Starts with a chase at the Eiffel Tower. Ends with a fight at the Golden Gate Bridge. After all that, Bond ends up with girl in a shower. Moore leaves, all washed up.
00
The Living Daylights (Glen, 1987) Timothy Dalton is Bond and a good one. Harkening back to Fleming, this 007 takes the job VERY seriously and not liking it much. Though Dalton is king of romantic mini-series, he tones it down here. Bit of a cad, in fact. And sometimes barely in control. Great pre-credit sequence on Gibraltar. Possibly best fight in series and Bond's not in it. Good cast with Jeroen Crabbe as The Villain, and Joe Don Baker as the literal heavy (subsisting on scenery, I think) Long three-way battle in desert in Afghanistan, and one could make a case he might be on the wrong side, despite the Cold War. Bond ends up with girl...in dressing room.
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Licence To Kill (Glen, 1989) Borrowed bits from Fleming in a story about a drug king-pin who maims Felix Leiter, Bond's pal in the CIA. Bond quits MI6 and goes rogue for revenge. Feels like Fleming, but doesn't feel like Bond. Bond-girls are a bit token-tough. Villain has best lines. A very young Benecio Del Toro shows up as villain's creepy, weasely assistant. Sub-plot of a televangelist as a drug marketer is mean-spirited/funny, but ruined by the casting of Wayne Newton. A guy gets exploded in a pressure chamber but Newton is ickier. Extended action sequence with 18-wheelers goes on far too long. Bond ends up with girl in a swimming pool.
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Tomorrow Never Dies (Roger Spottiswoode, 1997) Brosnan again, but a slightly devalued Bond. Plot's about a media mogul who makes his own conflict-headlines. A bit over-written in places. Too many worthless chases. Jonathan Pryce makes an ineffectual villain. Teri Hatcher shows up briefly and is killed. Michelle Yeoh kicks things up as Chinese agent. Odd little sequence with Vincent Schiavelli as assassination specialist Dr. Kaufmann. As soon as garage-chase ends, it all goes downhill. Final battle on "stealth-boat" is interminable. Bond ends up with girl...on pieces of a boat.
000
The World is Not Enough (Michael Apted, 1999) Longest pre-credits sequence in Bond history makes a slight kerfluffle of the story, but Bond has to protect an oil heiress from an international terrorist who had previously kidnapped her. Robert Carlyle is largely wasted but Sophie Marceau makes the best of a confusedly-written part. Denise Richards is a nuclear physicist named "Christmas" (oh, the possibilities are endless) Old "Q" leaves, and new "Q" is John Cleese and hardly a "harrumph" is skipped. Dramatically a bit inert. Bond ends up with girl in Turkey... after exiting a too-long submarine sequence. Brosnan-Richards romance feels a bit icky.
0000
Die Another Day (Lee Tamahori, 2002) Starts out promisingly: Bond is captured by North Korea and held prisoner and tortured while 9-11 happens. Traded and discredited but escapes own services' captivity to start an investigation in Cuba. Then Halle Berry shows up and it all goes horribly...horribly wrong. Bond's Greatest Hits Done Poorly. Laser satellite. Car chase on ice. The thing is like a steroid-pumped video game (which probably was the idea). Snarky villain. Madonna title-song and..urk..cameo. Awful. Bond ends up with girl in Korean prayer temple. Protests ensue. Wanted to grab a sign and join them.
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SPECTRE does something I never thought possible—it makes Quantum of Solace look like a better film in comparison.
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Hopefully, Bond has finally run out of history to recycle—like, there isn't a bitter second-cousin out there somewhere (although remember the line Bernard Lee's 'M" gave when Bond wondered who could possibly want to kill him in The Man with the Golden Gun: "Jealous husbands! Outraged chefs! Humiliated tailors! The list is endless!"), but one is hard-pressed to think where they can go to keep the franchise fresh (there were rumors—vehemently denied—that Christoph Waltz's Blofeld would come back in a two-parter, and even though Craig joked he'd rather slit his wrists than take on another exhausting Bond shoot, one thing is certain: "James Bond Will Return..."
Yeah. Given the tenuousness of Bond actor contracts, the producers have never had an opportunity like this. But, Craig has left—of his own accord—because he's too old and too broken to keep doing it, so...why not pull a Fleming and kill him off? The circumstances are that Bond sacrifices himself to destroy a DNA-targeted virus that every government wants and Ralph Fiennes' "M" has secretly financed. And Bond gets infected with a virus targeted for Madeleine and her daughter, Mathilde—James Bond's child. It's a no-win scenario for Bond, so he stays behind to make sure the stuff gets destroyed, and him along with it. It also gives a chance for another Bond romance equal to the one from OHMSS—they even recycle Louis Armstrong's "We Have All the Time in the World" just to get you all misty...and make you miss composer John Barry. Almost makes it worthwhile to revisit SPECTRE.
Oh...and "James Bond Will Return"
James Bond is dead. Long live James Bond.
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