Don't Make a Scene: Tootsie

The Story: The making of Tootsie could almost be a comedy in itself: two different screenplay sources, at least three directors—Dick Richards and Hal Ashby were involved during the development process—a lot of writers tinkering with it including Larry Gelbart, Murray Schisgal, Barry Levinson and Elaine May—none of whom are comedic "slouches" and might be better labeled geniuses (Don McGuire has the original story credit), and a lot of actors—including an un-credited Bill Murray—massaging it through the production phase, most instrumentally Dustin Hoffman who, after making it, could no longer consider it a comedy. And it does look like it's hard work, with Hoffman spinning a lot of plates to keep the thing afloat, when in the large picture, it's just a drag-comedy. Nothing complicated there. But, the writers, in a middle-class rom-com kind of way wanted it to be something more substantial, guided by Hoffman the actor, who took on the burden of  playing two roles—one of them playing the other one—and do it credibly enough that the whole concept of everyone else accepting it passes the laugh test—and passing it in the right way.

 

Take, as an example, this scene. It is made up of concepts, large and small, with big, broad ideas, and intricate details. In a way, this scene rejects breakdown because so much is happening (and for proof of that, watch the video below), but it comes down to one essential element.

 

Sydney Pollack.

 

Dabney Coleman was originally playing Michael Dorsey's agent, but Hoffman badgered Pollack (who started out as an actor) to take the part, even though he had the no-small-task of directing it, as well (Coleman was then cast in a pivotal part of a sexist television director—the man's too good to let go).

 

Because Pollack has an aspect that Coleman might not have been able to deliver: panic. He's the only guy in the room who knows that the woman sitting next to him, "Dorothy Michaels," is his client, the man Michael Dorsey, and he has to keep up appearances while he is having his normal business lunch, even though deep down inside—well, he doesn't know what to think. This isn't a "normal" business lunch, and his territory is being invaded.

 

And there's the comedy. Calm vs. Hysterical. Hoffman is riffing as quickly as Robin Williams in his role, but he's basically doing one thing: selling "Dorothy." Pollack here is the one spinning plates, trying to act like he's not acting when the various things he's feeling are cascading around him while he's trying to appear normal while protocols are being subverted. And the dialog happens so fast that I think part of the reason his character stammers so much is that Pollack the director can have a place to insert an editing blade between shots.

And while Hoffman is all a-flutter in the scene with all sorts of bits of business, Pollack has one physical through-line that he maintains to off-set Hoffman—he doesn't want Hoffman's Dorsey to touch him. Just. Don't. Touch. Him. The two are yin and yang. Laurel and Hardy. Nichols and May. Normalcy and Chaos. Calm and Panic.

Hilarity ensues.

 

The Set-Up: Michael Dorsey (Dustin Hoffman) cannot get cast to save his life in New York City. Last job he got was as a tomato in a commercial and he put everything he had into it. Desperate for work, he auditioned for a female role on a soap opera...and he got it. Now to tell his agent (Sydney Pollack, who also directed the movie). He doesn't have time to change.

 

Action.

 

DOROTHY/MICHAEL Excuse me. I'm wonderin' if you could help me? 

DOROTHY/MICHAEL I'm looking for the Russian Tea Room. 

GEORGE FIELDS This is the Russian Tea Room. 

FIELDS Right here. You-You're in front of it. 

DOROTHY/MICHAEL Oh, well, my stars! So it is. 

DOROTHY/MICHAEL Well, this is very embarrassing. 

FIELDS Yeah, well, this is it. 

DOROTHY/MICHAEL Thank you very much. 

MAITRE D (GREGORY): Good afternoon, Mr. Fields. 

FIELDS Nice to see you. 

MAITRE D: Nice to See YOU. Please sit down. -

FIELDS Thank you.

MAITRE D: The waiter will be just a minute. -

FIELDS Thank you.

OFF-SCREEN VOICE: George, how are you? 

FIELDS Hey, Ronnie. How are you? -

DOROTHY/MICHAEL Hi. -

FIELDS Wai-Wait a minute-- 

DOROTHY/MICHAEL I'm new in town, and I'm awful lonely. I hope you  wouldn't mind buying me lunch? 

FIELDS You can't come-- Gregory, this woman--

DOROTHY/MICHAEL Don't. 

FIELDS Ach!

DOROTHY/MICHAEL It's okay. George. (switches to Michael's voice) George. 

DOROTHY/MICHAEL (back to Dorothy) George. (back to Michael) George. (drops Dorothy voice)  It's Michael Dorsey, okay? 

DOROTHY/MICHAEL Your favorite client. 

DOROTHY/MICHAEL (back to Dorothy voice) How are you? (back to Michael voice) Last job you got me was a tomato. -

FIELDS Oh, no, no, no--

DOROTHY/MICHAEL (back to Dorothy) Yeah. -

FIELDS no, no, no--

DOROTHY/MICHAEL Swear to God. -

FIELDS Michael? 

DOROTHY/MICHAEL Yeah!

FIELDS Oh, God! I begged you to get some therapy. -

DOROTHY/MICHAEL I know, and you also said no one would hire me again.

FIELDS Jesus Christ! Do you think this is gonna make a difference? 

DOROTHY/MICHAEL I got a soap, George! 

DOROTHY/MICHAEL I'm the new woman administrator on "Southwest General".  

FIELDS You're what?

DOROTHY/MICHAEL Congratulate me! They almost didn't hire me because they thought I looked too feminine. 

WAITER: Something from the bar?

DOROTHY/MICHAEL Isn't that amazing? Huh?

FIELDS Could you give me a double vodka right away, please. 

WAITER: For the lady? 

DOROTHY/MICHAEL Oh! How about a dubonnet with a twist?

WAITER: Yes, ma'am.

DOROTHY/MICHAEL Thank you. That's a lovely blouse. -

WAITER: Thank you. -

DOROTHY/MICHAEL Welcome. -

FIELDS You're not gonna get away with this. -

DOROTHY/MICHAEL I got away with it. Look around. -

FIELDS I don't believe this. 

DOROTHY/MICHAEL Why not?

FIELDS I mean, I believe this, I-I-I-I

FIELDS I-I just don't believe anybody else will. 

DOROTHY/MICHAEL You want to bet? -

FIELDS Don't sit so-- -

PHIL: George!

DOROTHY/MICHAEL I walked down the street and..

FIELDS Hi, Phil!

PHIL: You know Joel Spector. -

FIELDS Hello. How are you? 

DOROTHY/MICHAEL Hi!

JOEL: Hi. 

FIELDS Uh, listen, I talked to Stuart I-I talked to him yesterday. 

FIELDS He-He'll be one more week in London. Then he-then he definitely-- -

DOROTHY/MICHAEL I missed you! -

FIELDS Then he definitely-- 

DOROTHY/MICHAEL You know, you're such a tickly-wickly. 

FIELDS He definitely wants to...

DOROTHY/MICHAEL You never been that ticklish before. 

DOROTHY/MICHAEL We go back years. 

DOROTHY/MICHAEL We haven't been introduced. 

JOEL I know. Joel Spector.

DOROTHY/MICHAEL Hi! -

FIELDS I'm sorry. -

PHIL Phil Weintraub. -

DOROTHY/MICHAEL So rude...

FIELDS Sorry. This is Michael-- -

DOROTHY/MICHAEL Dorothy Michaels. Nice to meet you.

PHIL Nice to meet you...

DOROTHY/MICHAEL  May I say, Mr. Weintraub... 

DOROTHY/MICHAEL ...that you are the best director-- 

FIELDS Producer. -

DOROTHY/MICHAEL Sorry. Producer on the Broadway scene today. 

PHIL Thank you. Thank you, Miss Michaels. -

MICHAEL and GEORGE laugh...

PHIL Hope to see you again. -

DOROTHY/MICHAEL Yes. Let's have lunch. -

PHIL Fine. -

FIELDS Call you.

JOEL Nice meeting you...

DOROTHY/MICHAEL You know, He's very handsome. I think you... 

DOROTHY/MICHAEL ...ought to represent him. -

FIELDS You are psychotic! -

DOROTHY/MICHAEL No, I'm not. I'm employed. -(sings)I got the whole world in my-- -

FIELDS Don't! Don't Don't...shut up  -

DOROTHY/MICHAEL I'm not gonna make fun of you. -

FIELDS Just don't get close to me! -

DOROTHY/MICHAEL I want you to...

DOROTHY/MICHAEL ...loan me $1000 till payday. -

FIELDS For what? 

DOROTHY/MICHAEL For what? For what? I gotta have something to wear besides this.

 

Tootsie

 

Words by Larry Gelbart and Murray Schisgal (and Barry Levinson and Robert Garland and Robert Kaufman and Elaine May  

 

Pictures by Owen Roizman and Sydney Pollack

 

Tootsie is available on DVD and Blu-Ray from Columbia Tri-Star Home Entertainment, Sony Home Entertainment and the Criterion Collection.