Hmmm. Maybe he was drunk.
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The Set-up: An Air Force general has gone nuts and sent a squadron of B-52's to drop their nuclear payload on Soviet Russia. With time a critical factor, and recalling the planes an impossibility, the American President calls his Russian counter-part to inform him of the news from the War Room of the Pentagon, while Joint Chiefs (including the hawkish General "Buck" Turgidson--played by George C. Scott) and the Russian Ambassador DeSadesky (Peter Bull) listen in.
Action!
Ambassador DeSadesky: I've done as you ask. Be careful, Mr. President. I think he is drunk.
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President Merkin Muffley: Ah, Hello, uh, Dimitri? Listen, I-I can't hear you too well. Do you suppose you could turn the music down just a little? Oh, that's much better.
Muffley: Yes, heh, yes...Fine, I can hear you now, Dimitri, clear and plain and coming through...
Muffley: ...fine. I'm coming through fine, too, eh? Good, then. Well, then, as you say, we're both coming through fine. Good. Well, it's good that you're fine...
Muffley: ...and-and I'm fine. I agree with you, it's great to be fine. Ha ha ha ha.
Muffley: Now, then, Dimitri, you know how we've always talked about the possibility of something going wrong with the Bomb.
Muffley: ...The Bomb, Dimitri. The Hy-drogen Bomb.
Muffley:Well, now what happened is, um, one of our base commanders, he had a sort of...we-ell, he went a little funny in the head. You know, just a little...funny...
Muffley: And-uh-he went and he did a silly thing. Well, I'll tell you what he did: He ordered our planes....to attack your country. A'--...well, let me finish, Dimitri.
Muffley: Let me finish, Dimitri.
Muffley: Well, listen, how do you think I feel about it? Can you imagine how I feel about it, Dimitri?
Muffley: ...fine. I'm coming through fine, too, eh? Good, then. Well, then, as you say, we're both coming through fine. Good. Well, it's good that you're fine...
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Muffley: Let me finish, Dimitri.
Muffley: Well, listen, how do you think I feel about it? Can you imagine how I feel about it, Dimitri?
Muffley: Why do you think I'm calling you,
Muffley: ...just to say "Hello?" Of course, I like to speak with you! Of course, I like to say "Hello!" Not now, but anytime, Dimitri! I'm just calling to tell you something terrible has happened....It's a friendly call, of course, it's a friendly call. Listen, if it wasn't friendly...you probably wouldn't have even got it!
Muffley: They will not reach their targets for at least another hour. I am...I am positive, Dimitri.
Muffley: Listen, I've been all over this with your...
Muffley: ...ambassador, it is not a trick! Well, I'll tell you...we'd like to give your air staff a complete rundown of the targets the flight plans and the defensive systems of the planes.
Muffley: Yes! I mean if-if-if we're unable to recall the planes I'd say that, uh...well, uh...We're just gonna have to help you destroy them.
Muffley: I know they're our boys.
Muffley: Alright, well, listen now, who should we call? Who should we call, Dimitri? Wha..? The People...sorry, you faded away there.
Muffley: The People's Central Air Defense Headquarters. Where is that, Dimitri? In Omsk. Right? Yes? Oh, you'll call them first, will you? Uh-huh. Listen, do you happen to have the phone number on you, Dimitri? We..What? I see, just ask for Omsk Information. A-a-a-mmm.
Muffley: I'm sorry too, Dimitri. I'm very sorry. Alright, you're sorrier than I am, but I'm sorry as well!
Muffley: I'm as sorry as you are, Dimitri. Don't say you're more sorry than I am, because I'm capable of being just as sorry as you are. So, we're both sorry, alright?
Muffley: Alright!
Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb
Words by: Peter George, Terry Southern ,Stanley Kubrick, and Peter Sellers
Pictures by: Gilbert Taylor and Stanley Kubrick
Dr. Strangelove is available on Sony/Columbia DVD.
We'll meet again.
Muffley: ...just to say "Hello?" Of course, I like to speak with you! Of course, I like to say "Hello!" Not now, but anytime, Dimitri! I'm just calling to tell you something terrible has happened....It's a friendly call, of course, it's a friendly call. Listen, if it wasn't friendly...you probably wouldn't have even got it!
Muffley: They will not reach their targets for at least another hour. I am...I am positive, Dimitri.
Muffley: Listen, I've been all over this with your...
Muffley: ...ambassador, it is not a trick! Well, I'll tell you...we'd like to give your air staff a complete rundown of the targets the flight plans and the defensive systems of the planes.
Muffley: I know they're our boys.
Muffley: Alright, well, listen now, who should we call? Who should we call, Dimitri? Wha..? The People...sorry, you faded away there.
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Muffley: Alright!
Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb
Words by: Peter George, Terry Southern ,Stanley Kubrick, and Peter Sellers
Pictures by: Gilbert Taylor and Stanley Kubrick
Dr. Strangelove is available on Sony/Columbia DVD.
We'll meet again.
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