The Story: Alas, poor Flick. Victim of the "triple-dog-dare" and a folk-tale of freezing weather. The story of the tongue-on-the-flag-pole challenge was one of the many tales spun by Jean Shepherd on New York radio station WOR—specifically "Flick's Tongue" broadcast on April 6, 1966 and made its way into his book "In God We Trust, All Others Pay Cash" from which most of A Christmas Story originates. Not a success when it was released, it achieved cult status and is now a Christmas perennial, like that other Christmas movie that did marginal box office It's a Wonderful Life. I've been wanting to do this scene for a year, planning it for this Christmas, after doing a post on the film itself last year. What struck me while doing the breakdown is just how creepy Ralphie and Schwartz are about keeping their guilt unknown. Of course, it's charming in children, but the same sort of behavior in adults is deplorable...unless, of course, you're a politician where it's natural. It's a taste of situational ethics for the Holiday Season from one of the great story-tellers. After all, what's Christmas without a Shepherd?
The Set-Up: It's just before Christmas—that time when children must be on their best behavior or they must suffer something worse than the fiery furnaces of Hell—no presents. But, kids are little grown-up's; they will always get themselves in trouble. They just have to figure out how to play the angles so they don't get the blame. So, it is with Ralphie (Peter Billingsley) and his pal, Schwartz (R.D. Robb). Alas, poor Flick (Scott Schwartz).
Action!
17. EXT. SCHOOL GROUNDS - LONG SHOT - THE KIDS -DAY
Recess. In the drifted dirty snow, kids stand in little clots. Skies are darker than in the earlier scenes. We sense a blizzard on the way. The steady BANGING of a lanyard on the flagpole in the cold north wind provides a sinister ringing tempo to the scene.
CAMERA PANS DOWN to the pole TO PICK UP the kids. The conversation from the morning continues.
FLICK You're full of beans and so's your old man. SCHWARTZ Says who? FLICK Says me. SCHWARTZ Well, I double-dare you.
NARRATOR The exact exchange and nuance...
NARRATOR ...of phrase in this ritual is very important.
FLICK Are you kidding?Stick my tongue to that stupid pole?
That's dumb.
SCHWARTZ That's 'cause you know it will stick!
FLICK You're full of it.
SCHWARTZ Oh, yeah?
FLICK Yeah!
SCHWARTZ Well, I double dog-dare you!
An audible gasp from the other kids.
NARRATOR Now it was serious. A double dog-...
NARRATOR ...dare.
What else was...
NARRATOR ...left but a "triple-dare you"?
NARRATOR And finally...
NARRATOR ...the coup de grace of all dares -
NARRATOR - the sinister triple dog-dare!
SCHWARTZ I triple dog-dare you!
Flick flinches. EACH OF THE KIDS IN TURN
They watch the great showdown.
NARRATOR Schwartz created a slight breach of etiquette by skipping...
NARRATOR ...the triple-dare and...
NARRATOR ...going right for the throat.
FLICK All right, all right.
SCHWARTZ Go on, ya smart ass, and do it! FLICK I'm going!
NARRATOR Flick's spine stiffened, his lips curled in a defiant sneer.
NARRATOR There was no going back now. CLOSEUP - THE POLE CLOSEUP - SCHWARTZ triumphant CLOSEUP - RALPHIE wonderment CLOSEUP - FLICK
He stands a few inches from the pole, staring it down. He turns and gives the guys one last bravado look. CLOSEUP - SCHWARTZ He smirks, but a little less comfortably. CLOSEUP - FLICK
FLICK This is nothing. He laughs a bravado little laugh, turns, and with utter disdain thrusts his tongue to full extension and plugs it forward onto the flagpole.
It sticks, freezes solid as a popsicle.
FLICK Stuck? Flick mumbles in panic and tries to pull free. He doesn't try this for long. It smarts.
FLICK Stuck!
Stuck! Stuck!
CLOSEUP - SCHWARTZ His smirk turns to astonishment.
SCHWARTZ Jeez!
It really works!
CLOSEUP - THE OTHER KIDS
They stare dumbfounded. Flick grunts an inchoate cry for help. SCHWARTZ Look at him! Schwartz and Ralphie, now vaguely aware of impending official doom, back off.
Suddenly the BELL RINGS.
Ralphie and Schwartz look at the school and then back at Flick. The BELL RINGS like a shriek out of hell. That's it. Ralphie and Schwartz are off like a shot.
FLICK: Ralphie, come back!
FLICK Come back! Don't leave me! Come back!
RALPHIE But the bell rang!
SCHWARTZ What are we going to do?
RALPHIE I don't know! The bell rang!
NARRATOR In Indiana, when the school bell rang, you went. Neither sleet nor snow nor frozen tongues stayed your headlong flight to your desk. Flick's predicament was no exception.
And as the wind rises and the lanyard BANGS with a steady drumming beat, the playground is emptied except for a tiny huddled figure frozen to the flagpole.
INT. CLASSROOM - CLOSEUP - RALPHIE AND SCHWARTZ - DAY slide into their desks and play dumb. Over their shoulders, away across the schoolyard, they see the hapless Flick. Ralphie and Schwartz collectively wince. We now have an empty seat halfway in the back row.
Miss Shields radar begins to warm up. She knows something is wrong.
MISS SHIELDS Where's Flick? Conspicuous silence.
MISS SHIELDS Has anyone seen Flick? Conspiratorial silence.
NARRATOR Flick? Flick who?
MISS SHIELDS He was at recess, wasn't he?
MISS SHIELDS Ralphie,
MISS SHIELDS ...do you know where Flick is?
MISS SHIELDS I SAID...has anyone seen Flick?
Finally one little girl beckons to Miss Shields.
MISS SHIELDS Yes, Esther Jane?
The little girl points hurriedly to the playground.
Miss Shields looks out at the playground.
She sees the figure. She walks to the window, looking closer. MISS SHIELDS Oh, my God!
At this point, twenty-two children stampede toward the window, gawking out.
Only two innocents remain uninterested. Ralphie and Schwartz sit unconcernedly looking nonchalantly at the ceiling. You could never tell they were involved.
Miss Shields flies from the room.
INT./EXT. SCHOOLROOM AND YARD - LONG SHOT - DAY LOOKING PAST the kids out to the playground. Ambulances and two fire engines are just removing Flick from the pole. We hear the steady keening of sirens. Ralphie and Schwartz turn and look at one another with doom in their faces.
KID: Holy cow, it's the fire department!
RALPHIE Oh, no...
KID: Wow, it's the cops!
INT. CLASSROOM -CLOSEUP - FLICK - DAY
with bandaged tongue being led back into the classroom.
He doesn't say a word, looking straight ahead as he moves to his seat and sits down.
But Miss Shields looks directly at Ralphie and Schwartz.
Has Flick squealed?
MISS SHIELDS Now, I know that some of you put Flick up to this.
MISS SHIELDS But, he has refused to say who.
MISS SHIELDS But those who did it know their blame.
MISS SHIELDS And I'm sure...
MISS SHIELDS ...the guilt you feel...
MISS SHIELDS ...is far worse than any punishment you might receive.
MISS SHIELDS Now, don't you feel terrible?
MISS SHIELDS Don't you feel remorse...
MISS SHIELDS ...for what you have done?
MISS SHIELDS That's all I'm going to say about poor Flick.
NARRATOR Adults love to say things like that. But kids know better.
NARRATOR We knew darn well it was always better not to get caught. A Christmas Story Words by Jean Shepherd, Bob Clark, and Leigh Brown Pictures by Reginald H. Morris and Bob Clark A Christmas Story is available on DVD and Blu-Ray ubiquitously from Warner Home Video and for 25 hours on WTBS every Christmas.
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